Since most of your examples in the first post were "Hollywood Heroes", I will pick one from a movie.
Capt. John H. Miller, played by Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan.
My reasoning is because he rose to the occasion. He did what he had to do. He became what he needed to become. In no way am I trying to detract from those in uniform as a career, but his character was one of an ordinary American engaged in an ordinary life, and then serving wholeheartedly when needed. He lead by example. His mission was accomplished—no sequels to Saving Private Ryan : )
I would much rather depend on the person with that spirit and determination who is my neighbor, coworker, or friend, who may not be an all-round tough guy, than the best trained people who may not be in proximity when needed.
A man who exhibits "Duty, Honor, Country" is the American icon more so than the toughest, tough guy without conviction.
Fortunately, we have many in our armed forces who are both.
Our founding fathers exhibited this. They had a lot to lose. Most of them were personally well-off—even under British rule—yet they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.