Here's the way I would play. I'm going with reasonably priced stuff here.
1) 16" DPMS A3 upper 1/9 twist, if your going to go with heavier than 69 grain, go with 1/8 or 1/7 twist. 400-500 new.
2) The above should do it, especially with quality ammo, and or free floating forend.
3) Do as you say, I coat my trigger parts with brownells action magic plus ( trigger job in a jar ) , or the most reasonable that I have seen is the Chip McCormick, 3.5 lbs and modular. I have currently an accuracy speaks, ( 3.5 and I like it, single stage), bushmaster 2 stage national match, ok trigger, Geislle match, Oh my, 1.5lbs, not recommended for the light of heart. Stock parts polished and springs adjusted, 4.0lbs and ok. Armalite 2 stage match, very nice 3.0 lbs.
4) good choice on your part - I have the ace sopmod collapsible steel with the meat tenderizer butt. Nice.
5) The sky's the limit here, so much to choose from. I have a eotech 512 with Troy buis, as they were meant to co witness, and the eotech is not tinted or have any magnification. I also have an aimpoint comp ml2 with yankee hill buis, the are usable but are in the bottom half of the aimpoint, not the center. If you go with a magnified sight, get a quick release to use the buis, or make sure the lowest power is 1 power. Doing research on this can drive you nuts, kind of like picking archery equipment, there are 50 offerings for each individual component. Sorry.

6) You answered that one.
Personal preference on flash hiders, if it matters to you, for a true flash hider I do like the vortec, as a muzzle brake I really like the Miculek, inexpensive and works like a champ.
My DPMS 16 as above with a cheapy aluminum ff hand guard and the Miculek brake with the aimpoint comp ml2 will do 20 shot 2" groups at 100 yards off the bench, with private label 223, loaded with Hornaday 52grn match hollow points.. It does have the accuracy speaks trigger and ace sopmod stock. Remember that is a 2 moa dot with no magnification.
Greatest of luck with your new build.
