The price you paid is the measure of how great the love you shared is....
That kinda makes sense..
I'd never known love like that could exist in a fallen world, and I'd never known pain like that could exist either without physically killing you.. It would have been far kinder if it had..
A man at the church I was going to this spring was dragged in front of the church and it was announced that he had just lost his wife of 40 or 50 years.. I felt so bad for the guy having to go through that, but he was still in that bad surreal shock, so he wasn't crying at that point..
I remember all the questions, but I still don't have any of the answers..
My heart and prayers go out to you......
The Great Physician spared me your pain when my wife went through a bout with cancer in 2009/2010, so I can not say that I know exactly what you have been going through....but this place was a place of comfort for me personally when we were going through her treatment process....and these folks on here have grown to be a great family to me.
I hope you find that as well.
I've been a member of USCCAs forum since I've been a member here, (since 07). I spent all my time over there till I showed back up over here a few months ago.. (Church Split..) I had alot of support there and it gave me people to listen, and to ramble at..
I lost a couple of friends there too, getting (around) it.. I don't want to wade too far into it because it doesn't matter, but I put friends through the wringer, when I just needed a little more space than they thought I needed.. I needed to be in control of everything I could for the first several months, and when I finally let go, I found myself in South America, married.. She loves me as best she can, and she isn't mean to me as long as I don't let her into those places where she doesn't want to see.. It's pretty thin, and it's based on having given my word, but I love her, and it beats being alone..
If I were advising somebody, I know a little more about the dangers, but you can't hear anybody in that place, so there's only so much good you can do for em..
To tell you the truth, I don't know if I'll ever be able to bond with somebody again, too deeply. I just don't know how to allow it anymore..
I think I've already alienated about half the board here.

That's not abnormal for me though.. It's part of my charm...
