the X-girlfriend's maiden name was Schnurrman.
Her father would come over and BBQ the best pork ribs, though.

I remember one time we were riding in a car with them and one of the relatives asked me "Where would you like to live?" I replied with "Out in the country." So they ask "Why?" And just then some ambulance or police car flew by with lights and sirens, so I replied with, "So I don't have to listen to that all the time."
Their response was something like, "Don't you realize that the ambulance is just trying to help out some poor under privileged person?"
