Colonoscopy..I laughed til I cried!!

[santahog]

Dave Barry should get a medal for being a National Treasure..

[billt]

My prep was called "Go Lytely". Honest, no joke. About 5 liters worth. You do everything but. It came out like high pressure hot water. The odor was a cross between week old, mid August road kill, and boiling Sulphur.

[Big Frank]

They put that scope so far up you they can check your teeth.    I agree that the prep is the worst part. I don't plan on doing that again anytime soon.

[warhawke]

All of which is why I have a tatoo on my butt that says "Exit Only"

[MikeBjerum]

#1.  M'ette, I read this with hopes of making fun of and laughing at you, but then, being typical you, you were just making fun of some poor guy;

#2.  Castor Oil was the prep of choice every time I had one.  Advice was to mix it with a juice to make it go down easier - To this day I can hardly stomach orange juice, and I can not stand V8.  Ignore the advice unless there is something you never want to drink again in your life - Thank God I didn't mix it with Crown!

#3.  Why do the instructions on the prep (castor oil) forget to tell you that you should be sitting on the toilet when you drink the stuff?  The speed of light may be an exaggeration, but the speed of sound does not begin to explain how fast it moves!

#4.  Why do they always do the colon first and the endo second?  And, why do the doctors love to tell you they use the same scope for both?

#5.  Did I forget to tell you about the enemas?  Nothing like shoving a plastic wand up the netherregions, squeezing a bag empty, and then rolling around on the bathroom floor to simulate a washing machine;

#6.  And then there is that little instruction as you leave the office after the procedure:  "If you feel the need to pass gas just let it go."  Now, outside of the half gallon of KY they used there is nothing juicy in there, but they neglect to tell you they used enough air to inflate the Goodyear blimp.  Maybe they should suggest you not stop at the grocery store on the way home! 

[Sponsor]

[billt]

I remember when I was laying on the table waiting for the doctor to come in, and put me under. The 2 nurses were testing the "unit" they were going to use on me. On the end it had a headlight and a camera. I asked how hot the headlight got, and they both busted out laughing.

[MikeBjerum]

I remember when I was laying on the table waiting for the doctor to come in, and put me under. The 2 nurses were testing the "unit" they were going to use on me. On the end it had a headlight and a camera. I asked how hot the headlight got, and they both busted out laughing.

They put you under    Lucky bastard!

[GASPASSERDELUXE]

I am due for mine later this year. Every 5 years. The last time I had the Dr write me a Rx for the pill form of the liquid. It is a lot eaiser to take. Same lousy taste but a lot easier. You still have to drink about a gallon of water while taking them and I still gagged while taking them but I'll be doing the same thing the next time. I think it is like drinking sea water, when i tried a just about barfed. I'm not looking forward to it.

[billt]

They put you under    Lucky bastard!

Initially they weren't going to. But a friend of mine once told me a trick. He said to act real scared and nervous. If they sense you might get goofy, they'll put you out instead of of "half out". I did and it worked. I heard the doc say, "We're going to put you completely out, you'll be more comfortable". He did and I was.

[MikeBjerum]

I know the Dr. very well, so he just kept talking to me.  They did give me some Demerol, and I'm sure it took the edge off, but I was always awake.  The highlight was when Doc asked if I wanted to see something really cool.  I said sure.  He told me to look at my belly.  When I did he adjusted the light control and twisted the knob.  He had made the light flex 90 degrees, and when he turned the know it rotated the light 360 degrees.  It looked like a comet flying across my belly - coming up one side, across the middle, and then past the horizon on the far side.