Dumbest Criminal in Florida!

[fightingquaker13]

(the same deal you or I would have gotten I'm sure ). So here he is, in his multi million dollar home, with two deputies to guard him (that he did have to pay for) and a domestic staff to cater to his every whim. What does he do? He destroys the ankle bracelet he was assigned to wear, thus violating his probation and is now residing in the county jail. How freaking stupid do you have to be?
Now folks, this a coveted title. Thousands vie for it each year, and to win, you have beat out some worthy competitors. But we have a winner, John Goodman! (Applause please). This guy is a zillionare who founded the Palm Beach Polo Club, and is the king of all things horsey and expensive down here. Anyway, last year, he got drunk and ran a kid off the road and left the scene. The guy drowned in a canal. Now that's stupid with a side order of evil. Comes to the trial he claims his Bentley's accelerator stuck, and he was just a helpless victim, he didn't know the guy was in the canal, and immediately after getting home he drank a bottle of whiskey. Umm....fail. So he gets convicted of vehicular homicide.
But wait, there's more. The kids family sues him. So (and cue the banjos please) he adopts, legally adopts, his 47 year old girlfriend in an attempt to shield the assets.......fail.
Bit wait, there's more.
This bozo was somehow able to convince the judge to extend his bail while appealing his murder conviction ( just like we would have doubtless been able to do ). So here He sits in his million dollar home with soft sheets and a domestic staff and a hot GF to cater to his every need. He did have to pay two deputies around the clock to guard him, but that money was found under his sofa cushions. So what does he do? He has a tantrum and destroys his ankle bracelet, thereby violating his probation. He now resides in County. How dumb do you have to be?
Only in Floriduh.

[45 Defender]

You just can't fix Stupid.

[tombogan03884]

Is this the same guy who was implicated in Coke and money laundering back in the  80's ?

[lhprop1]

Now folks, this a coveted title. Thousands vie for it each year, and to win, you have beat out some worthy competitors.

Florida is the major leagues of stupid criminals.  In fact, it's the Olympics of stupid criminals. 

[tombogan03884]

I think FQ is making a big deal over nothing, sure his hissy fit was kind of dumb, but it's not in the same league with trying to break into a bank through the chimney and having your mummified corpse discovered 10 years later.
Or trying to break in through the roof with a flashlight in your mouth then falling through a skylight and driving the afore mentioned flashlight through the back of your head.

[Sponsor]

[billt]

In Florida some years back there was a clothing store owner on video tape pleading with the City Council to increase police protection around his store because it was broken into some 20 times. They didn't do anything so the guy put an electrified grate into the ceiling panel they always broke in from. The next morning they found some kid barbecued on the grate...dead. Their was a big outcry because the kid was black. Then the tape surfaced. The blacks quit whining, and charges were never pressed. He was never broken into again.

[tombogan03884]

In Florida some years back there was a clothing store owner on video tape pleading with the City Council to increase police protection around his store because it was broken into some 20 times. They didn't do anything so the guy put an electrified grate into the ceiling panel they always broke in from. The next morning they found some kid barbecued on the grate...dead. Their was a big outcry because the kid was black. Then the tape surfaced. The blacks quit whining, and charges were never pressed. He was never broken into again.

Fla crooks may be dumb.
But they aren't THAT dumb. 

[lhprop1]

Fla crooks may be dumb.
But they aren't THAT dumb. 

I think you give them too much credit. 

[tombogan03884]

I think you give them too much credit.  

Now that I think of the Chicago church that blew up because some of the parishioners were trying to by pass the gas meter, (during a service, probably with a sermon on "Thou shall not steal ) and the several people who have been fried trying to steal electrical wiring and components I have shake my head and admit you are probably right.