Deadly instruments

[Solus]

Bagpipes...I heard they were invented at the Marquis de Sade School of Music...   Any truth to that?

[Timothy]

Bagpipes...I heard they were invented at the Marquis de Sade School of Music...   Any truth to that?

A good Pipe band is a joy to hear!  A bad Pipe band is not!!!

My kid was a very good flute player or flautist as it's called.  She got a hair up her butt that she wanted to switch to the clarinet so we obliged and sold her rather expensive flute for a less than expensive clarinet!

Something all should know...a flute played poorly is much easier to listen to than a clarinet played badly so, if your kid wants to play the clarinet, buy them a guitar...

 

[fightingquaker13]

No thank God !  
But it was the TRAINED Pipers who were executed whenever they were found.

My roomate in college and I both played. We'd occassionally ride up and down in the eloevators of the dorms (there were only two) playing "Scotts Wha Hae' if we got bored, and a donation to the March of Dimes would make us stop. You've never appreciated the pipes till you've been in a elavator with them . I'm sure plenty of folks would have wanted to see us executed.
We didn't have the drums, but it wasn't for lack of trying.

The lyrics are pretty cool too. Its no BS soldiers song, don't say you weren't warned before you enlisted kind of tune. The Marines would approve.

[santahog]

Don't laugh, there was a time when playing the bag pipes was a capital offense.

My roommate in High School played them.. By the time we were done with him, he was content to play an imaginary chanter in a room alone..
(We were all musicians, of varying, lesser degrees . The Pipes were unharmed in the process of redirecting his energies..)

[jaybet]

A good Pipe band is a joy to hear!  A bad Pipe band is not!!!

My kid was a very good flute player or flautist as it's called.  She got a hair up her butt that she wanted to switch to the clarinet so we obliged and sold her rather expensive flute for a less than expensive clarinet!

Something all should know...a flute played poorly is much easier to listen to than a clarinet played badly so, if your kid wants to play the clarinet, buy them an acoustic guitar...

 

FIFY

[Sponsor]

[tombogan03884]

A good Pipe band is a joy to hear!  A bad Pipe band is not!!!

My kid was a very good flute player or flautist as it's called.  She got a hair up her butt that she wanted to switch to the clarinet so we obliged and sold her rather expensive flute for a less than expensive clarinet!

Something all should know...a flute played poorly is much easier to listen to than a clarinet played badly so, if your kid wants to play the clarinet, buy them an acoustic  AIR  guitar...
FIFY

Fixed your fix   

[MikeBjerum]

[PegLeg45]

I knew a feller with the gift of 'perfect pitch' once.........

Best thing he ever did was pitch an accordion into a dumpster and it landed on a banjo.

 

[MikeBjerum]

I knew a feller with the gift of 'perfect pitch' once.........

Best thing he ever did was pitch an accordion into a dumpster and it landed on a banjo.

 

Have never acquired a liking for accordion, but I do like a well played banjo and well played bagpipes as well.

Even if you don't like them, stick it out past the first minute please

However, this is just plain wrong in so many ways

[PegLeg45]

I've always liked both the banjo and bagpipes, and wish I had the knack for playing either.....the accordion, eh, not so much.

As a guitar man, I never miss an opportunity to take pot shots at other instruments.



What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)…
Chain Saw:
 -a chain saw has a dynamic range.
 -you can turn a chain saw off.
South American Macaw:
 -one is loud, obnoxious, and noisy; and the other is a bird.
Harley Davidson Motorcycle:
 -you can tune a Harley.
Onion:
 -no one cries when you cut up a banjo.
Trampoline:
 -you take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Uzi:
 -an uzi only repeats forty times.


How many banjo players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five; one to screw it in and four to:
-complain that it's electric.
-lament about how much they miss the old one.
-complain that Earl wouldn't have done it thata-way.
-argue about what year it was made.
-argue about how much it costs.
-ask what tuning she's using.
-stand around and watch.
-10: one to do it & the other 9 to stand around & say, "I could have done it better."
-none: but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.


How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-All of them are too layed back to bother to change it.
-Six: One to change it and five to keep the banjo players from hogging the light.

What did the banjo player get on his IQ test?
-Drool…

How can you tell if the stage is level?
If the banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth.

Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
It saves time in the long run.

What's the difference between a skunk run over on the road and a banjo player run over on the road?
You see skid marks in front of the skunk.

What's the difference between a run over skunk and a run over banjo player?
The skunk was on it's way to a gig.

How many banjo players does it take to eat a opossum?
Two, one to eat it & one to watch for cars.

How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
By their names…

What is the definition of perfect pitch?
Throwing a banjo into a toilet without hitting the seat.

What do you call a good musician at a banjo contest? A
 visitor.

What are flaming guitars good for?
Lighting banjos on fire.

Why are banjos better than guitars?
They burn longer.

What's the best thing to play on a banjo?
A flame-thrower.

What's the difference between a fiddle & a violin?
Who cares?!? Neither of them is a banjo!

What do you call a guy that hangs around a bunch of musicians?
Banjo player