Talking to my kids about situational awarness.

[liquorboxracing]

I have two teen age sons, who are now at that age where they are dating. I found myself in an situation where I really felt helpless to  keep my sons safe the day my oldest son went on his first date with his girlfriend to the movie theater. I have talked to them both  about the normal don't talk to strangers bit, but after the incident in Aurora, I found myself realizing, it could happen where I live to. My wife and I both carry, so when my kids are with me, I'm not worried. ( As much! ) But now that my son's are datting, I have come face to face with the grim reality that I'm not going to be with them all the time. I have had all the normal father sons talks with both my boys, but I was at a loss on how to explain to my oldest son what to do in a public venue if danger were to present itself. All I could think to tell my son was to know how many entrances there were into the theater, and how many ways there were to get out, and to position himself in the theater where he and his girlfriend could bug out safely and quickly if they needed to. I also told him to be cautious of his surroundings, and pay attention to people around him.

Was any of this wrong advise?

Is there more I needed to have discussed with him?

What other advice do young teens need to be safe in todays turbulent sociaty?

[tombogan03884]

Basiclly the "Pay attention" approach is correct .
Statistics I've heard indicate that if you avoid drugs, booze, places they are used, and those who use them you can avoid 90% of violent crime .
Awareness, and knowing when to cross the street to avoid a sketchy situation will take care of much more of your risk.
The rest of it just comes down to sh!t luck, being in the wrong place at the wrong time .
How many thousands of people nation wide went to see Batman on opening night, but those people in that one theater ran into the only rampage killer in the country that night .
We discussed that particular situation in other threads at the time and it was pointed out that the doors are killing zones, there are only so many of them and that is where the targets are clustered .
A better bet is to hit the floor and roll under the seats to avoid being trampled .

[alfsauve]

Trail Safe

Michael's book, while written from the perspective of outdoor hiking, is extremely applicable to urban living.  He even points out the differences.   I think there's a lot to be learned.

Not sure I'd have younger children read it, but I highly recommend it for you and your wife, then pass on to the kids the portions that you think would be most useful to them.   (There's nothing gross in it, just that it's a lot of info to absorb in a few pages.)

[Solus]

Lots of modern activities steal awareness. 

Don't want to ban texting, but you might point out it is best done with your back to the wall in a safe place...and even then it is certain Condition White.

One thing that might make you feel better.....his date's father has more to worry about than you do.   

[liquorboxracing]

Lots of modern activities steal awareness. 

Don't want to ban texting, but you might point out it is best done with your back to the wall in a safe place...and even then it is certain Condition White.

One thing that might make you feel better.....his date's father has more to worry about than you do.   

True!!!!  It's a good thing he fears his own mom worse than his girlfriends dad!!


Thanks for the responces on this everyone. I have really been struggling with the past few days. This has been an on going discussion with me and my two sons over the past two days. any more advice on this is truely welcome, and needed. I'm sure the next date is shortly around the corner.

[Sponsor]

[tombogan03884]

The fact that it is an on going discussion is a good sign they understand the seriousness of the subject as long as it is not you discussing and them saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. can I have the car and $20 ?"
If they are participating it means they are thinking about the subject and that's really all you can do.

[Rastus]

Make 'em watch The Best Defense.  They set up everyday situations and show you how they go wrong.  That should help them pick it up.

[liquorboxracing]

Make 'em watch The Best Defense.  They set up everyday situations and show you how they go wrong.  That should help them pick it up.

We all four watch it as a family when ever possible. It's one of those shows that the whole family enjoys, and we all get something from it. I'm just not always sure how much my two sons take from the program. I have had them ask questions about certain scenarios, they didn't understand, but not sure that they retain all of what they learned. After all they are both starting to pay more attention to girls more than they are their homework! 

[Rastus]

I have a fake knife, etc. and during normal activities I sometimes "go beserk" for a couple of seconds and ask them what they would have done in a real life experience.  We then discuss the situation, how they failed to be aware, etc....yes you should always be safe at home but every now and then it's a nice drill with them.

I believe that to learn something really fast it must be a "life changing experience" so startling them has proven quite effective...they don't forget.  Just pick when and where, have a plan and execute when no one anticipates. 

[Solus]

I have a fake knife, etc. and during normal activities I sometimes "go beserk" for a couple of seconds and ask them what they would have done in a real life experience.  We then discuss the situation, how they failed to be aware, etc....yes you should always be safe at home but every now and then it's a nice drill with them.

I believe that to learn something really fast it must be a "life changing experience" so startling them has proven quite effective...they don't forget.  Just pick when and where, have a plan and execute when no one anticipates. 

If they think it is silly, find some old Pink Panther movies and watch Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers) and his "house boy" Cato who would 'spring' on him from ambush when the Inspector got home.

Or find some Green Hornet comics with Kato...not quite as amusing though.