Clips and Magazines

[Fatman]

Thanks. I'm reading this thread, my wife looks over my shoulder, laughs and says, "Mmm... maybe you should clip your son's toenails."

See you in 10.

[Hazcat]

Schooner?? That's for beer!

[CZShooter]

I was thinking to thinkin' the other day about my hideaway gun that I keep in the den.  I need a method of storing the extra ammo holder so it is as accessible as the gun.   So I thought I would attach it to  the inside of my periodical holder with a large spring clamp at the book store.  I read about this technique from an article I cut from the barber shop's reading selection where the barber usually over charges me.   So I rushed home at a quick pace to try the new idea. It worked marvelously with the ammo holder for my Garand, that I liberated from the an abandoned two masted cargo schooner.

Any other words" I raced home at a fast "clip" with the "clip"ping from the barber, that "clip"s my hair and "clip"s my wallet, to "clip" the "clip" that I "clip"ped from the "clip"per ship that "clip"ped an iceberg to my "clip"pings holder.

And that's the facts, ma'm.

"Mag"nificent! 

[Hazcat]

"Mag"nificent! 

***GROAN***

[TFox2112]

This whole thread is absolutely awful. My dad would've loved it. He was always into wordplay. Thanks guys. Brings back good memories.
Tom

[Sponsor]

[Big Frank]

Have you heard of a type of jokes called groaners? There's usually a long drawn out story leading up to a punclhine that's not quite worth the wait. They will make you groan and ask WHY? If your kids don't behave tell them a groaner. They'll beg you to stop and promise to be good.  There are several variations of this one. I know many here are old enough to get it, but may have to explain it to the young'ns.
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Roy Rogers went into town to buy some new shoes.
He found a pair he liked so much that he decided to wear them back to his ranch instead of his usual boots.
On the way home he was attacked by a Mountain Lion.
It went right for the new shoes, biting at them until Roy was able to draw his gun and shoot it dead.
Roy thought the Mountain Lion would make a great stuffed trophy for his den, so he flung it over Trigger, tied it down, and continued on home.

Dale Evans happened to see him walking up the trail. She saw the Mountain Lion, saw the result of the attack, and shouted:

"Pardon me Roy -- is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

[twyacht]

So I thought I would attach it to  the inside of my periodical holder with a large spring clamp at the book store.

Thanks alfsauve, I am reminded of my Swedish Grandfather who lived in Miami and kept an old .38 revolver in his "periodical holder"
by his trusty old bark-o-lounger. As well as one on top of the fridge, and 2 in the bedroom. He lived in a small house with my grandmother until he died in his garage working on a Volvo sterndrive.

He wanted it that way, and unfortunately my cousin took his pistols and sold them. (Just a Jerry Springer type cousin) and an idiot.

But kudos to the big spring clamp, my wife calls them a "clip."

[Big Frank]

I just saw some clips from the Jerry Springer show the other day. 

[Hazcat]

Never saw the Springer show but I read about it in magazines.

[twyacht]

CONDITION ELMO,......CONDITION ELMO!!!!