My Redneck neighbor...

[bryand71]

That site about the neighbor was too funny, I passed it to some friends of mine who will get a good laugh.

[tt11758]

Why am I NOT surprised that JD8 is a good ole Georgia boy?!?  lol

[Raygun]

Whoa, I wasn't dissin' rednecks! Heck, I am one!

It's the creeps here that bother me. No I can't move right now. I bought this house to renovate and sell just before the housing market crashed (just my luck) then Banco de America capped my loan so that i couldn't get major projects done. I'm going to have to sell some stock, before BHO kicks in capital gains again, to fix up the kitchen, finish the deck and put it on the market for whatever I can get. After I sell it and pay off the second mortgage, I'll be lucky to afford and old condo.  Any nice lookin' rich redneck wimmen out here wanting to hook up? Can I get a "Hell Yeah!"?

PS, the Greenville Co Sheriffs Dept. never even returned my call about it. No one was manning the phones and I had to leave a message. Lets just say they are not known for showing up in a timely matter for anything, if they show at all.

[Big Frank]

Around here if someone is dead the cops willl come out and do some paperwork. Other than that don't count on them EVER showing up unless some white trash POS lies and says their neighbor pulled a gun on him. The cops arrested and interrogated me and confiscated one of my guns. I couldn't prove I wasn't guilty of 2 felonies, felonious assault and using a gun during a felony, so I plead no contest to a misdemeanor and never got my gun back. That's why you shouldn't let your convicted felon baby-raper neighbor who was fired from a nursing home for beating up his elderly patients ever see you puting gun cases in your car. If he's out of his mind on illegal drugs and gets mad at you a year later, he remembers that you own guns and can get his drunk white trash POS step-father who wasn't even there to be a witness that you pulled a gun on him.

You see, I've had some bad neighbors too. A series of them all living in a $3,000 house that's surrounded by $50-60,000 houses. It only takes one decrepit old shack to bring trouble to the neighborhood for decades, even after the original owners move out. The first neighbors I had in that house were a bunch of Appalachian ridge-runners who eventually moved back to the mountain they crawled off of. One thing the wife did was look over at my house and ask my wife which window is the bedroom window. They were a real class act.    When their car was in the driveway, instead of moving it, one of their sons drove through my yard to go around it. When they couldn't open the car door far enough for the 900 pound wife to roll out they knocked my fence down to make more room. She was collecting Social Security because being too fat to work is a disability. Every neighbior who's moved into that dump since them has been trouble. Their son moved in and was the one who got me arrested. The best neighbor I had in that house played horseshoes outside my bedroom window after the bars closed until it was almost time for me to get up and go to work. He's in prison for killing someone, but he was still a better neighbor than the guy who's living there now who tried to kill me, assaulted me several times, and made several dozen false polce reports and 911 calls against me.

I get along great with all of my neighbors except the people who live in that dump, so I know it's not me being hard to get along with. As a matter of fact, when my ex-neighbor who lived on the other side of me drove 13 hours from her home at Fort Bragg to visit relatives here for the holidays, they got together and made a plate full of home-made fudge and candy for me and brought it over for Christmas. It seems like everyone in the whole neighborhood likes me except the white trash that live in the little hovel next-door, and I've had serious problems with all of them.

[TAB]

I have np admiting I am a redneck...

[Sponsor]

[Big Frank]

Me neither. Especially after listening to Jeff Foxworthy while my working TV sat on top of my non-working TV. And my outdoor furniture used to be my indoor furniture. Guess what? It's indoor furniture again.    If that ain't redneeck I don't know what is.

[tombogan03884]

Around here if someone is dead the cops willl come out and do some paperwork. Other than that don't count on them EVER showing up unless some white trash POS lies and says their neighbor pulled a gun on him. The cops arrested and interrogated me and confiscated one of my guns. I couldn't prove I wasn't guilty of 2 felonies, felonious assault and using a gun during a felony, so I plead no contest to a misdemeanor and never got my gun back. That's why you shouldn't let your convicted felon baby-raper neighbor who was fired from a nursing home for beating up his elderly patients ever see you puting gun cases in your car. If he's out of his mind on illegal drugs and gets mad at you a year later, he remembers that you own guns and can get his drunk white trash POS step-father who wasn't even there to be a witness that you pulled a gun on him.

You see, I've had some bad neighbors too. A series of them all living in a $3,000 house that's surrounded by $50-60,000 houses. It only takes one decrepit old shack to bring trouble to the neighborhood for decades, even after the original owners move out. The first neighbors I had in that house were a bunch of Appalachian ridge-runners who eventually moved back to the mountain they crawled off of. One thing the wife did was look over at my house and ask my wife which window is the bedroom window. They were a real class act.    When their car was in the driveway, instead of moving it, one of their sons drove through my yard to go around it. When they couldn't open the car door far enough for the 900 pound wife to roll out they knocked my fence down to make more room. She was collecting Social Security because being too fat to work is a disability. Every neighbior who's moved into that dump since them has been trouble. Their son moved in and was the one who got me arrested. The best neighbor I had in that house played horseshoes outside my bedroom window after the bars closed until it was almost time for me to get up and go to work. He's in prison for killing someone, but he was still a better neighbor than the guy who's living there now who tried to kill me, assaulted me several times, and made several dozen false polce reports and 911 calls against me.

I get along great with all of my neighbors except the people who live in that dump, so I know it's not me being hard to get along with. As a matter of fact, when my ex-neighbor who lived on the other side of me drove 13 hours from her home at Fort Bragg to visit relatives here for the holidays, they got together and made a plate full of home-made fudge and candy for me and brought it over for Christmas. It seems like everyone in the whole neighborhood likes me except the white trash that live in the little hovel next-door, and I've had serious problems with all of them.

Torch it

[Big Frank]

If I thought I could get away with it I would torch my neighbors house with him in it, still alive and conscious but disabled.
Living next to him causes me to have evil thoughts like that.

What would be the last thing that went through his mind if I put a claymore under his car seat?

His @$$hole and 700 ball bearings. 

[Fatman]

I take offense at the 'redneck' stereotyping here.

Ther ARE dumb ass hicks al la "Beverly Hillbillies" BUT, "Rednecks" are good, honest, hard working, every day folks!

I believe the web page's author was interviewed (local radio station) and said the title was in the spirit of the Foxworthy description of a Redneck as "a glorious lack of sophistication" and that "we are all guilty of it at one time or another".

I am proudly a redneck at one time or another. 

[PegLeg45]

Yes, I too have been a 'Redneck" from time to time. 

But I joined "Rednecks Anonymous" and it's all better now.