The 'gun' story (yer gonna love this
)
Deputy Dog (Sheriff) shows up with retraining order. Asks if I have guns (they are mentioned as cause in the restraining order) so I say "yep".
He says "Gotta turn 'em in. You can do it or you can give 'em to me now"
I figure now is easier so I say "Sure, got 'em right here" (shocks the hell out of him).
He says "I need to come in and get them"
I say "OK"
I point to the place where my wallet and daily pocket stuff is piled on top on a cabinet in in the living room. He walks over and can't find my KelTek in the pile! So I point it out to him (BTW my Redhawk 45 was IN the same cabinet.
).
He picks it up and starts to fumble with it. First he starts to jack the slide (mag still in) and gets a round stuck in the port! Then he figures that is not right so he starts fumbling some more!
I say "STOP! Yer gonna shoot some one. Please let me do that." He reluctantly hands it over and lets me unload it (while he stands back with his hand on his weapon).
"Gee, that's a real little 22 ya got there. Sorta hard to operate." says the idjit.
Says I "It's a .380 and works like and semi-auto"
".380!!!" says he. "Well where is the other one ya said ya had?"
I take him to my bed room where my .357 SA is under my pillow and point it out to him.
He grabs it and says "Real pretty gun ya got there!"
I say "Yep, and it's about 50 years old so ya better take real good care of it".
"50 years!" says he "Wow, you take good care of yer guns".
This is where more fun ensues.
He tries to swing the cylinder out by force and keeps looking for a button to push to help him.
I say "It's a single action, you know, a cowboy gun." (knowing he has NO CLUE as to what that means"
I let him fumble a bit more then "PLEASE! you have to open the gate and half cock it to rotate the cylinder to unload it" (clear directions for anyone that knows more that which end the bullets come out).
BTW at his feet under the bed is a fully loaded AR!
AND my Ishy is (loaded) and sitting behind the bedroom door (the dip stick didn't even notice it!)
We step into the living room where he starts to try and follow my directions. He is playing with the gate and trying to turn the cylinder and I keep saying "I can do that, be careful, etc".
BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I have a .357 size hole in my ceiling and a REAL surprised looking cop on my hands. (now what do I do??)
First I disarm him. (He meekly gives it up). I then proceed to unload it and set it aside.
He finally starts to stammer about reports and yada yada. I say "Hold on, let's see how bad it is" I get a probe and find that the round had struck a roof beam so I do NOT have a hole in the roof.
"Listen, I don't have a big problem here so let's just forget that happened. You be REAL good to my guns and I'll say 'no harm no foul'. OK?"
He of course readily agrees, we finish the paper work and he leaves (with my guns).
When the smoke had cleared and I could go get them back I went to the evidence locker to pick them up. The clerk says "These must be really valuable guns. The sheriff called me every day to check on them" She then handed me my guns individually wrapped in a cotton cloth.
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