All things being equal, a lighter bullet will have less recoil in a given cartridge, 15 grns in hot cartridge like the .40, it will not be real apparent, the .40 S&W, has a decided snap to it, what I call recoil impulse, it is sharp and sudden. As to which you should buy or shoot, which one shoots the best?, and is it a quality, dependable load, like say from Hornaday ( tap ), Federal ( hydro shock ), Speer ( Gold dot ), Corbon ( using the barnes bullet ) etc.. The .40 is odd, in that some of the lighter bullets are pushed real hard, and the recoil is surprising, like the CorBon 135grn Nosler Hollow point. It is a very sharp recoil, not like a .44mag, but it will get your attention. I think it is slide velocity that brings this feeling.