I think you're right, that a lot of force on force stuff out there is more like a paintball match.
I think to get the most benefit, it almost needs to be more like a class/lab environment, where the participants are getting instruction at some point and feedback on their actions during the event. Personally, I'd love to see one where the event was video recorded and the participants (who presumably were reacting to situations created by the instructors) could see what they did and be able to learn from it.
As many people have pointed out in different threads, the gun handling skills are just a small part of the scenario. I'd love to see training with some awareness, avoidance, de-escalation, and open hand defense involved as well, leading to a shoot/no-shoot decision.
Of course, that's no fun for the folks who just like to run-and-gun.