Author Topic: My unexpected absence  (Read 7620 times)

Kid Shelleen

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2009, 10:46:35 AM »
Sorry to hear it JC. Hang in there, things will get better.
“What country can preserve its liberties if its rulers are not warned from time to time that the people preserve the spirit of resistance?”

Thomas Jefferson, 1787

Ichiban

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2009, 11:02:06 AM »
Divorces suck enough when you can see them coming.  Try not to stay in the anger stage too long and don't second guess.

Oh yeah, try to keep as much money from the lawyers as possible. 


cookie62

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2009, 12:24:12 PM »
been there (twice), just remember it'll get better. Keep your head up and your temperment even.
A bird in the hand is worth..Well, about a box of shells!
Yes, I'm bitter and cling to guns and religion..

fightingquaker13

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2009, 12:27:12 PM »
Damn. Sorry JC. That is a kick in the head. If you need to bitch, this is the place.
FQ13
PS Itcihiban gives good advice. Don't assume the lawyers are on your side. Remember they get paid by the hour. My Dad's kind of antagonized him to fight with my mom over stupid stuff, thus raising the bill a lot. He sees it now but didn't at the time. Its best to try to settle things first. If that doesn't work try a mediator, they are a lot cheaper than a contested trial and can draw up a legal contract.

JC5123

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2009, 12:51:39 PM »
Thankfully everything has been very amicable. (except the divorce) I was just so stunned. We just went to a lawyer, and he's handling the whole thing. We divided everything up. Both of us are reasonably satisfied with how it was divided. I hope that nothing will be contested, we can just get the papers signed and I can start to begin again. I wanted very badly to save my marriage, but I can't force her to. The hardest part about the whole thing is that right up to the moment she told me, I thought that we had a very happy marriage. I had know idea anything was even wrong.

The hardest part has been knowing that I couldn't stop this, but still feeling like I failed her as a husband. I guess now I know what emotional baggage REALLY means.
I am a member of my nation's chosen soldiery.
God grant that I may not be found wanting,
that I will not fail this sacred trust.

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #15 on: Today at 12:39:14 AM »

Neon Knight Anubis

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #15 on: August 11, 2009, 01:02:53 PM »
No warning? What kind of...?

Sorry to hear about what you're going through JC.
We'll know for the first time
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We're the last in line

tumblebug

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2009, 01:30:42 PM »
 Hang in there .  Ahh marriage nothing   better    when it works nothing   worse   when it don't. Staying  busy   HELPs.

MikeBjerum

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2009, 01:38:14 PM »
Never been there myself, but have a couple friends that in hind sight saw some warning signs, but the request was totally out of the blue.  For both of them the legal process did not go well because of the large dollars involved and the wives' attorneys getting carried away.  However, for both of them it was the emotions that were the worse.  One even said he'd take her back if she wanted.

Hang in there, care for yourself, and keep looking at the coming sun rise!
If I appear taller than other men it is because I am standing on the shoulders of others.

Ping

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2009, 01:38:29 PM »
Keep your chin up. Always something bigger and better out there for you. I have been down that road a couple of times myself and am on my 3rd and final marriage. Sick of losing all my stuff, lol. Sure hate to see someone have to deal with something like this but chalk it up as a learning experience and don't blame yourself.
One bit of advice, don't try and rush out and try to replace her. I made that mistake myself and ended up divorced the second time. Take time for yourself and you will be fine.  ;)

Johnny Bravo

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Re: My unexpected absence
« Reply #19 on: August 11, 2009, 02:21:31 PM »
I've been there JC. I'm sorry for what you are going through. Think positive and get away from her and stay away from her. Start fresh and remember that alot of us have gone through this. You can too. There are other people around that appreciate you. Listen to FQ. Cover your ass legally. It helped me to talk to the man upstairs. Keep your chin up. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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