My unexpected absence

[Teresa Heilevang]

Jason................( you KNEW the mother hen would step in here before long , didn't you?)

I have about a million things I want to talk to you about and could and will talk to you about if you have the need. You can call me day or night or email me with anything you want to...I'm here for you. We can talk about anything ..Nothing shocks me.. and even though I am not proud of some of the things I have done.. The things I have experienced where marriages is concerned.... well..... It's a lot!

 I don't know how old you are, but I get a feeling you are around my boys ages. 29-36...
( No one knows this on here.. but Danny, my oldest just got a divorce after 13 years) It was finalized 2 weeks ago. Long story.. but outcome is the same. He told me the other day that without having me to talk to .. and to show him "how women react and think " in these situations, he would have gone crazy and handled it in a wrong manner. It was a 7 day divorce, no dragging out in the courts and lawyers..and he is doing good. I'm proud of the way he has handled things..and the best is .. he is proud of the way he has handled things and he can see that he will be a better man for it. So once again.. if you need me.. I'm here for you.

I have been through divorce 3 times. (Obviously Marshal hasn't been given the notice yet..so there is still hope for him that the Vampire hasn't decided to bite yet.   )

Each one was my doing...and my decision to leave. Each one made me hurt and sad in different ways. It was an ending ..but also a rebirth and a beginning.   The  "not seeing it coming" part is literally amazing to most women.. but very normal for a lot of men. So don't beat yourself or her up over that part. It's wasted energy.
   I'm sure you have talked at length with each other about everything.  If you haven't..you need to!  
If you have... you will have learned  what maybe you both did to bring it to the end. And I say BOTH.. It takes both being aware of the other one..to make it good..and both to move it towards an ending in a friendly and nice way and be better people for it .
   You  BOTH will have learned a lot from this 4 years. Take away with you the positive. Try not to judge other women by what happened here.. but learn what you need to watch for and what you like and don't like (using these last few years as a guide, so to speak) when it comes to women.  You will be smarter and more on your toes the next time you date someone... and better able to appreciate who you are in accordance to what you want. Don't settle for 2nd best...and don't hesitate to  date around until you find it. It might be a few years..but she is out there..possibly going through her own growing stages and preparing like you... for that special someone. It's not an "IF".. it is only "WHEN" ..and it will happen ..not when you want it to.. but when it is supposed to..  

You will hurt for awhile. You will go through some times where you think that there is no way to get away from the hurt..and the anger and the feeling that you have been taken for a blind fool.. Everyone of us that has been through a divorce looks back and sees things that we should have done or shouldn't have done and feels mad at ourselves for being an idiot...and not being able to 'see it at the time" . Forgive yourself... Forgive her... and prepare to move forward.
You will heal. You will slowly wake up each day and without knowing it.. be better and better.

The key . ( and this is the big one)  ...is to understand that we have people come into our lives sometimes for a certain amount of time for a certain reason. It is planned! We are not just thrown down here on Earth flying by the seat of our pants like a bedraggled raggedy tail on a kite, whipping this way and that way with no plan. We each have a very intricate map that is intertwined with many many people. Some are with us for the duration.. others for a short time and still others we haven't met yet . But each person who connects with us ( even for the shortest time ) has a purpose in our life. And our purpose in their life has a definite purpose also. They are all learning lessons .. whether it would be to allow us to feel happiness, sadness, grief, anger, giving, taking, calmness, excitement...the list is  absolutely endless. ..
Our Earth Time is literally just a great big school system. We get to graduate ( and go home to the other side) only when our Road map of lessons has been completed this time.
The emotions and human feelings that we need to experience comes in many forms and from many people.
You need to feel all the emotions that your body is telling you to feel. Let them come..  Don't hold back. It's okay to feel sorry for yourself.. to cry.. to cuss.. to scream.. to get mad... to sit and stare at the wall... to shut down for awhile..  Do it!  But don't wallow it in! Get get back up.. and with a little bit of renewed strength..move forward with a clearer head. To let it all out is a purging and a cleansing to your soul's growth. You will find it will happen less and less as time goes on.

I'm so sorry you have to hurt and go through this. I know how sometimes your heart hurts so bad you wonder why it doesn't break.. And  you think WHY..does this happen and WHAT good can come out of this.. WHY do I have to go through this....WHY WHY WHY~~~ Everything you are feeling , has been felt a bazillion times from others who have gone through it. Each is different.. but yet each is the same.

 Please  just take baby steps... each day you will get stronger.. I promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you that there will be happiness again..and trust and love.

We are all here.........................for you to talk with.. cry with... and share with.
Privately you can call us ......... publicly in the forum..you can talk to us.... you have a lot of friends who really DO care that you make it though this with a happy head and a healed positive heart. You are not alone...

My e-mail is teresalaptop@cascity.com ............  my home phone number is 620-374-2093  my mobile is 620-249-2681

[fightingquaker13]

Very touching post M'lette and we are all glad you care. BUT delet the phone and email. Too many idiots read boards like this.
FQ13

[tt11758]

Very touching post M'lette and we are all glad you care. BUT delet the phone and email. Too many idiots read boards like this.
FQ13

Not to worry, FQ.  The biggest idiot (me) already had her phone numbers. 

[fightingquaker13]

Not to worry, FQ.  The biggest idiot (me) already had her phone numbers. 

And this reassures me how?
FQ13

[Hazcat]

Not to worry, FQ.  The biggest idiot (me) already had her phone numbers.  

I beg to differ!  Have YOU called M'ette at 2 in the morning?  

[Sponsor]

[Teresa Heilevang]

FQ.. you can Google me..and get all that information. its public knowledge,.
And besides.. would YOU want to cross a wild unpredictable blond who can ~~with one move , make you sing like a girl... and shoot your ears off  at 30 paces?

I'm alright.. but thanks for worrying anyway. ( It's nice)  

[tombogan03884]

FQ.. you can Google me..and get all that information. its public knowledge,.
And besides.. would YOU want to cross a wild unpredictable blond who can ~~with one move , make you sing like a girl... and shoot your ears off  at 30 paces?

I'm alright.. but thanks for worrying anyway. ( It's nice) 

It's not shooting his EARS off he has to worry about.
If I can find the link to your little hunting story I will PM it to him 

[Timothy]

It's not shooting his EARS off he has to worry about.
If I can find the link to your little hunting story I will PM it to him 

I believe I recall the story about the scrotum-less buck and a certain sharpshooting blonde young thang!

[Teresa Heilevang]

We are off topic ....  .AGAIN!!
My god.. can we drift at the drop of a hat or what!~~~
( I'm as bad as the rest of you....**and I'm not bad at anything  **)

This thread is about helping Jason................
Lets Pluuueeeese try ( at least on this one ) to get

[tt11758]

I beg to differ!  Have YOU called M'ette at 2 in the morning?  

Point taken, Haz.  You ARE the King!!