News Flash, this just in…
THE TEMPLE ON EARTH – Today it was announced that US President Barack H. Obama is the legendary Fifth Element.
The legend is that every five thousand years, in conjunction with a planetary alignment, a 'Great Evil' appears whose purpose is to destroy all life as we know it. The only weapon capable of defeating the Great Evil, is a collection of four stones representing the Classical Elements (wind, earth fire and water) placed in a specific order in the Temple and combined with the heretofore unknown Fifth Element.
Today in the Temple, the four Classical Elements were united with Barack H. Obama. An observer exclaimed, "When they united the four stones with the President a very intense light, it was a Divine Light I guess, emanated from his eyes and mouth!"
This Divine Light immediately defeated the Great Evil as well as solved world hunger, world poverty, climate change and all pestilence. In addition, peace has come to Israelis and Palestinians, Iran has dismantled all nuclear facilities, Osama bin Laden surrendered and Al Qaida has become an ACORN affiliate.
North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, was heard to say, “I have to hand it to Obama, all this time I thought it was me.”
President Obama said, “I always knew I was special so I’m not entirely surprised by the fact that I am the Fifth Element, but I am deeply humbled by the honor.”
Obama said he was working to end the war in Iraq and "to confront a ruthless adversary that directly threatens the American people and our allies" in Afghanistan. He added, “I guess defeating the Great Evil kind of tops that, huh?”
In related news ABC just announced that President Barack H. Obama has won ABC’s Dancing with the Stars.
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