Classic joke thread...

[PegLeg45]

Hazaritas, I think. He even called me Tab yesterday, but I let it pass.

Yes ............ too many Hazeritas? .........or senoritas? ............................ or maybe 'old-age-a-ritas'?             
















       

[Teresa Heilevang]

Two medical students were walking down the street and saw an old man walking with his legs apart.
 
He was stiff legged and walking slowly.
 
One of the students said to his friend, 'I'm sure the poor old man has Petry Syndrome.   Those people
walk just like that.'

The other student said, 'No, I don't think so.  The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly
and his legs are apart just as we learned in class.'

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him,  'We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you have.    Could you tell us what it is?'

The old man said, 'I'll tell you, but first you must tell me what you two fine medical students think.'

One of the students said, 'I think it's Petry Syndrome.'
The old man said, 'You thought.... but you are wrong.'
 
Then the other student said, 'I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.'

The old man said, 'You are both wrong.'
They asked him, 'Well, old timer, what do you have?'

The old man said,  'I thought it was GAS.......,
                                               but I was wrong too.'

[Teresa Heilevang]

A little known fact....
 
The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

 It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.



 

guys................................




NOT!!!

[Teresa Heilevang]

President Obama was looking for a call girl.

He found three such girls, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

To the blonde he said, 'I am the President of The United States.
Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'
She replied, $200.

To the brunette he asked the same question. 
Her reply was $100.

He then asked the redhead.
Her reply was, 'Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my
taxes, my panties as low as my wages, get that thing of yours  as hard as
 the times we are living in, and keep it rising like the price  of energy and
screw me the way you have the Country, then it isn't  going to cost you a bloody cent!'

[TAB]

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year the Wong’s have a new baby.

The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?



Sum Ting Wong

[Sponsor]

[Teresa Heilevang]

Now there's help for your dog..

[PegLeg45]

Mt. Rushmore as seen from Canada...........

[Teresa Heilevang]

Mt. Rushmore as seen from Canada...........

[m25operator]

  Peg, that's funny right tere 

[Bill Stryker]

This was in an email I received. It is a joke. So, I am posting it here. But maybe it belongs on the Politics thread.


In Texas, a woman was called in front of a grand jury for possible manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger in the back six times as he was     
running away with her purse. He had grabbed her purse and ran. She had her hand on her gun inside the purse and when he ran with the purse she was   
left holding just the gun.                                                                                                                           

When asked by the grand jury why she shot him six times, in the back as he was running, under oath she replied "Because when I pulled the trigger   
the 7th time, it only went click."                                                                                                                   

She was acquitted of all charges because that's the way it is in Texas and the way it should be everywhere.