Classic joke thread...

[TAB]

Morale Boosters at the work place.!

I'm sure osha would just love those.

[Outlaw]

Is this a sign that Obama's got her by the ass?



That ought to be McCain in the rear

[Dougdubya]

 

[Teresa Heilevang]

[SlickRob]

Back in 1912, Best Foods mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of it scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to Mexico. It sank after smashing into an iceberg.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known as "Sinko De Mayo".

[Sponsor]

[tombogan03884]

You should be ashamed Rob.   

[CurrieS103]

 

[MikeBjerum]

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
 
80% held up their hands.
 
The Minister then repeated his question.
 
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
 
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
 
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
 
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
 
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
 
'Oh, Mrs. N eely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
 
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
faced the congregation, and said:



         'I outlived the bitches.'   

 

[jaybet]

WOMEN ALWAYS TRIUMPH!!!!!!!!


A cheating husband decided to write this letter to his wife.
 
My Dear Wife,
 
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy.
I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife, however, after
reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I
will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort
Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset, I shall be back before midnight.

When the man came home late that night he found a reply of his letter on the dining room table:
 
My Dear Husband,
 
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54
years old I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are
also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel
Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis
coach. He is young, virile and like your secretary, he is 18 years old.
You being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18 ..
Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

[Teresa Heilevang]

Jay~  That was a hoot... But she does have a point there..   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they
spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.  Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on
Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he
decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However , he accidentally left out one
letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following
a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and
fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the
floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
 
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
 
I know you're surprised to hear from me.  They have computers here now and
you're allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.  I've just arrived and have
checked in.  I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!!!  I hope your journey is as uneventful as mine
was.
 
P.S.  Sure is hot down here!