Classic joke thread...

[Bill Stryker]

Subject: Is sex work?

 

A U.S. Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain
decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he
failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it
was "pleasure?"

A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A lieutenant said it was 50-50%.

An ensign responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his
state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the captain turned to the seaman who was in charge
of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young seaman responded, "Sir, it has to be 100%
pleasure."

The captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me
doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

God Bless the Navy sailor.

[Teresa Heilevang]

About the video that Phil posted.............................and the comments afterwards..............
Had to take it off Phil.... .. you and I kinda caused an uproar...  

I was teasing when I gave you and Haz hell.... I truly apologize for those I offended. I didn't mean anything by it.
I should start doing the work of monitoring more closely and not "chime in" so much.. I am waaaay too "guyish" sometime.. Too many years hanging with the guys in the hunting fields and fishing holes I guess.
Almost nothing bothers me at all actually... so I tend to jump in there ..chime in..and dish out the shit when I should be more ladylike...and choose my topics more carefully...
I kinda have a smart ass mouth sometime. I can take more shit  with a smile  than most people can. Doesn't bother me.. Just gives me an excuse to have a snappy comeback..and sometimes I forget that it offends some when my mouth and wit gets ahead of me..

 Once again.. I really DO apologize for upsetting anyone.

Forgive me??  

[philw]

I was not offend at all with what you said  I was just about falling off my seat laughing at what you posted 
I knew what you meant by it 

still say we need to have a new board   called  "The Corner"   for all NSFW  stile posts   

[Teresa Heilevang]

Marshal would kill me... cause I'd be locked in there forever... 

[tt11758]

Marshal would kill me... cause I'd be locked in there forever... 

I'd be there to keep you company.   

[Sponsor]

[Bill Stryker]

Engineering Down Below

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his
dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong
place."
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort
in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and
building improvements


After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and
escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.


One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, "So how's it
going down there in hell?"


Satan replies, "Hey things are going great We've got air conditioning,
flushing toilets and working escalators, and there's no telling what
an engineer is going to come up with next."


God replies, "You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should
never have gotten down there; send him up here."


Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm
keeping him."


God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."


Satan laughs uproariously and answers,
 

"Yeah right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?"

[sledgemeister]

I was not offend at all with what you said  I was just about falling off my seat laughing at what you posted  
I knew what you meant by it  

still say we need to have a new board   called  "The Corner"   for all NSFW  stile posts  

Yeah then you could share the truly sick stuff LOL
I figure its just payback for giving us such shows as Seinfeld, Friends, Dr Phil and Oprah -  

[tombogan03884]

Yeah then you could share the truly sick stuff LOL
I figure its just payback for giving us such shows as Seinfeld, Friends, Dr Phil and Oprah - 

Seinfeld was good for a few laughs, but don't blame US for the rest of that crap, That's all Ca.  You can add American Idol and those dumb "Reality" shows to the list.

[Pathfinder]

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH:

Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!
 

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1.. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..
If you haven't, add 1758.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number


 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).


The next two numbers are


 
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
 


THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

[sledgemeister]

Seinfeld was good for a few laughs, but don't blame US for the rest of that crap, That's all Ca.  You can add American Idol and those dumb "Reality" shows to the list.

yes as in very few, sorry will have to agree to disagree, I found him as about as funny as a fart in a elavator.