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Author Topic: Post a Thanksgiving Joke  (Read 2350 times)

long762range

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Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« on: November 25, 2009, 03:51:11 PM »
Grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, 'The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.'

Her youngest grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, 'Then why is their Dad carrying that rifle?'

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"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous.  If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be paranoid for."

Pathfinder

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2009, 04:41:47 PM »
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SlickRob

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2009, 04:43:54 PM »
A few years ago I remember my father asking my mother what she was making for Thanksgiving.

She replied, "Reservations."
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Big Frank

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2009, 04:46:45 PM »
Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving but Aren't...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."

9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"

8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"

7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"

5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"

4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."

3. "It's cool whip time!"

2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

. . . and the number one thing that sounds dirty at Thanksgiving but isn't . .

1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2009, 04:51:44 PM »
no joke, but how about a story?





about 10 years ago, my grandmother had every thing done for thanksgiving except the gravy.  after simmering the gravy for  for several mins, she relized it was to thin, so she reached for some cornstrach.  She added some, it would not thicken, so she added some more, and then some more... it still would not thicken, she finally said screw it and put it on the table...

that when we found out, it was not corn starch, it was powdered suger she was adding  ;D

yes, every year no matter who makes what, in my family we always ask if there is powdered suger in the gravy.
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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #5 on: Today at 01:48:33 AM »
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alfsauve

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2009, 05:52:02 PM »
One of my favorites (please for give me Jim Henson)

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twyacht

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2009, 05:59:34 PM »


It's just that easy.... ;)
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Thomas Jefferson: The strongest reason for the people to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against the tyranny of government. That is why our masters in Washington are so anxious to disarm us. They are not afraid of criminals. They are afraid of a populace which cannot be subdued by tyrants."
Col. Jeff Cooper.

Big Frank

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2009, 06:03:02 PM »
Why isn't BO bowing?  :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Jackel

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2009, 06:56:55 PM »
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you are a redneck when You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

You know your a redneck You ever got too drunk to fish.

MikeBjerum

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Re: Post a Thanksgiving Joke
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2009, 08:20:58 PM »
This came from someone on here I'm sure, but I'll repeat it anyway ... after cleaning it up a little  ;)

If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey we would all be getting a piece of ... today  ;D
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If I appear taller than other men it is because I am standing on the shoulders of others.
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