I need some advice...

[TAB]

they are in a good foster family now, I think its the best place for them.


FWIW, these kids should have never been born in the 1st place. the father is a real POS.  I say let his family have them, but none of them will step forward.

[tombogan03884]

If their in a good home now it may be best.

[TAB]

That just it, now they are in a good home, what happens say 6 months from now is the question.

let me put it this way,  when I moved, I made sure the jack ass father didn't know where I moved too.

[Big Frank]

It sounds like foster care is the best thing for them. I would tell the court that.

[Solus]

A tough one, TAB. 

Even though your Mom is trying to keep her grand kids in the family, it isn't a workable long term, or maybe even short term, solution.

You know that or you would not be thinking of going against your Mom's efforts.

It is what is best for the kids and what should be done.

You will have to pay the price, as Tom B. has pointed out, with your Mom and any supportive family members.  Tough it out.  Better to face that than have to live with letting the girls lives be hurt.

Do what you can to keep track of them and what you can to watch over them and  help them.  Make the foster family part of your family and do the same with the adoptive family, if possible.  Hopefully the rest of your family will respond the same way.

Good Luck, TAB, and take care.

[Sponsor]

[crusader rabbit]

TAB said:

FWIW, these kids should have never been born in the 1st place. the father is a real POS.  I say let his family have them, but none of them will step forward.

TAB, if the dad is a POS, why in the world would you want his family to step up? 

If the girls are currently in a decent Foster care situation, that's a good thing.  HOWEVER Kalifornistan is starting to pay its bills with IOUs.  Soon, the Foster care family may not be able to take care of the girls due to a lack of funds (I obviously have no first-hand knowledge about their financial status, but I am intimately familiar with the Foster care program here in Florida).   IF your Mom has the ability to care for the kids for the next 10-20 years, I have to say I agree with FQ that blood is important.  These kids share your (or your bride's) genes.  They are the innocents in this mess.  They should be the only ones considered.

TAB, I have additional thoughts and insights on this.  PM me if you want to discuss this in a less public forum.

Offered by Crusader who has witnessed the Foster system up close for more than 20-years--and wouldn't want any of my loved ones or family-members in the system.

[Bic]

 FWIW:  I was adopted as a newborn and raised by a loving couple that wanted me. When adoptamom died in 2000 I searched out my biological mother (plus her family, 2 daughters and their father-not mine) and while the intervening 47 years appeared to have given her some wisdom, I was, and to this day still am, sure glad I was raised by the Mother and Father who adopted me    

[tombogan03884]

TABs problem is that in Ca. at least, the Kids most likely will not stay with the current family, that is just a temporary thing until final arrangements can be made.
He's in a darn rough spot, damned if he does, damned if he don't, I will not even consider "advising him, merely throw out things for consideration.
Not a position I would want to be in.

[tt11758]

An issue her is the family member herself.  If the situation is so bad as to lose the kids, and it appears you aren't fighting that, I wonder if someone in the family adopting is the best for the children.  As hard as it is to lose close family in a situation it may be best to cut the losses while they are young, and let a good family give them the best opportunity.

Just my thoughts with limited information, but as a parent who adopted two children I am biased and our children speak openly about their thankfulness as well.

I'm with Mike on this one.  Several years ago the state (after years of prodding) removed my 2 nephews from their parents (my sister and her worthless, pedophile husband).  My wife and I (who are unable to have children) were given the option of adopting them.  This was the most difficult decision of our lives, but we finally decided that the boys' need to not have to associate with their idiot mother at family functions far outweighed our desire for children.

Bottom line is this.....do what is best for the kids.

[PegLeg45]

TAB, I have no words of wisdom to offer or a solution to the problem, but I do wish for the best outcome for your situation.