what would you do...

[TAB]

Lets say you lent money to a friend you were very close too.( few thousand)  with a agreement that they were going to make small payments every month.  ( what they could aford)  they have never made a single payment.  Your friendship with this person is now gone, now way it will ever be back( money was not the reason)  they don't even want you to contact them, gone.  Now I don't care about the money, but  no one screws me.   they made a agrement and broke it.   what would you do?          I see basicly 3 opitions for me.  1.  Let my lawyer make a call/ letter and see what happens.  2 make them fill out a w9 (might be hard to do) and 1099 them   3 small claims.           granted if 1 or 2 fails it would lead to 3.  No question about that.   all of them sucks, I would rather just talk to them, but thats not a opition.

[fightingquaker13]

Unless you had something in writing I think you're screwed. That sucks. I always say "never do business with someone you aren't willing to sue". This is why.

[MikeBjerum]

If you don't have anything in writing with their signature all you can do is ask - verbal or writing.

If they signed something, send them a certified letter of demand and time frames you expect payment in.  After that turn it over to your attorney.

If you have nothing in writing, and they say no, send him a Christmas card.

[Solus]

I've been in that situation in the past and you gain little by going after the person....even if you do get the money back. 

If I want to give someone money to help them, I now look at it as a gift...if I get paid back fine...if not, I helped someone.

I've given over $10,000 to various friends and have been paid back $150...the friends who said they would pay me back and haven't have gone away...in increments...they were just uncomfortable around me even though there was no pressure for payment.  Just having that debt can weigh on someone.

So, in the future if your help is not a gift, don't make it ...for sure without signed paperwork.

[TAB]

Ca verbal is legal,  and I have documentaion of every thing.  I have the with drawl record, dates talked we talked about it, what was said... etc etc.  I don't lend money( normal I just give it, but thats rare)  this was a extreme case.   the sad part is I really loved this person, my feelings were very warm and plantonic.  We were very close, over the last month that has changed.   not many people I call friend, this was one.   its also a decent chunk of the reason I am bailing from ca.   Most of you know that while I can be a dick, I am also the niceist and most giving person you will ever meet.  I really bend over backwards to help people.    I really am a shirt off my back kind of guy.  I spent thousands on this person, every thing from the shoulder to cry on, to the guy that brings home made soup and bread when you are sick.  I was just going to let it go, but I can't.  I am a firm beleaver in do what you say you are going to do.  No body screws me,

[Sponsor]

[Solus]

When I was young my family used to spend holidays and special events with a group of several other families.

Get together for the 4th, Thanks Giving, summer vacations at a cabin one of them had at a lake..winter vacations to at the lake ice skating...just always round that crowd.  Kids new each other, bunked together at the cabin...

When I was about 15 years old, it stopped...just never saw them again. 

Years later I asked my mom what happened and she said that the guys went out to get more beer and when they got back my dad was upset because he thought he got short changed for a few bucks when they bought the beer.  Mom said the guys didn't take it seriously and my dad got mad and never saw them again.  His word, my mom said was  "No one chisels me"

My dad was also a person to help...no were near what I've heard you doing, TAB, and, for sure, you have more reason to expect payment, but I could not help but thing of all my dad threw away for a few bucks....and I know it wasn't the money..it was him not liking feeling taken.

So if the debt is all that is driving this falling out, maybe it can be written off as your ex-friends Big Mistake and worked out.

[PegLeg45]

I've been in that situation in the past and you gain little by going after the person....even if you do get the money back. 

If I want to give someone money to help them, I now look at it as a gift...if I get paid back fine...if not, I helped someone.

I've given over $10,000 to various friends and have been paid back $150...the friends who said they would pay me back and haven't have gone away...in increments...they were just uncomfortable around me even though there was no pressure for payment.  Just having that debt can weigh on someone.

So, in the future if your help is not a gift, don't make it ...for sure without signed paperwork.

Brother, I feel your pain on this one....... been in that boat for years......... I have got to the point that if I can't afford the loss in order to give it, I just don't...... but if I can afford it, I automatically figure it as a gift (even if I call it a loan).

If I had all the money I've given to family and a few friends I could buy a new truck....... but when I see the ways I've helped some folks that were truly in need at the time ... it was worth it.....
I guess I'd rather be the person helping than the person being helped.

[TAB]

The money has nothing to do with the falling out.

[kmitch200]

Ca verbal is legal,  and I have documentaion of every thing.

Everything except a signature on that promissory note agreeing to terms.
All they have to do is say, "I didn't say that" or "He misunderstood" and it becomes a he said - he said.

It's probably worth it not seeing them ever again.

 

[Swamp Yankee]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you are not in the SanDiego area as it sounds like something my neice would do, only because she has done it before to someone else in a different state. If you have a good chance at winning some kind of verdict in your favor I say go for it. If not they will do the same thing again.

Mike Mc