Author Topic: Red Neck Humor  (Read 5659 times)

2HOW

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1861
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Red Neck Humor
« on: August 14, 2008, 08:41:29 PM »

>
> Drinking with a Redneck Girl
>
> A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
>
> When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls
> out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our
> glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
>
> The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the
> air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the
> Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to
> drink with the same one twice either.'
>
> The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one
> gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the
> Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and
> calling for a refill, she says,
>
> 'In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink
> with the same ones twice.'
>
> ' God Bless America
>
AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY

twyacht

  • "Cogito, ergo armatum sum."
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10419
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2008, 08:59:57 PM »
Thanks! now I have to clean up the beer I knocked over.

I need a refill. ;D ::) ;D ::)
Thomas Jefferson: The strongest reason for the people to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against the tyranny of government. That is why our masters in Washington are so anxious to disarm us. They are not afraid of criminals. They are afraid of a populace which cannot be subdued by tyrants."
Col. Jeff Cooper.

PegLeg45

  • NRA Life, SAF, Constitutionalist
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13260
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1348
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2008, 09:20:15 PM »
Here's one more thing to make my people proud.....

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/14/bigfoot.body/index.html?section=cnn_latest

(CNN) -- A policeman and a former corrections officer say that on Friday, they will unveil evidence of what they claim is their biggest capture ever: the body of Bigfoot.

The thawed body of a creature reputed to be Bigfoot reportedly weighs more than 500 pounds.
Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, a pair of Bigfoot-hunting hobbyists from north Georgia, say they found the creature's body in a wooded area and spotted several similar creatures that were still alive.

The carcass of the furry half-man, half-ape is 7 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs more than 500 pounds, they say. However, the two are not disclosing the exact location of their discovery in order to protect the remaining creatures.

Tom Nelson, chairman of the biology department at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega, said he's "pretty skeptical" the world will feast its eyes on a new species Friday.

"That would certainly rock mammalogy," joked Nelson, who specializes in the study of mammals. "I see a research grant in my future."

Whitton and Dyer plan to unveil what they say is DNA and photo evidence of the discovery in Palo Alto, California, in conjunction with a group called Searching for Bigfoot Inc.

A photograph on that group's Web site shows what appears to be the body of a large, hairy creature with an ape-like face, stuffed into a large freezer.

According to a written release, the two announced the discovery on an Internet radio show, "Squatch Detective," several weeks ago.

"The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was 'the Real Bigfoot Hunter,' Tom Biscardi," Dyer said, referring to Searching for Bigfoot's CEO, who has been looking for the elusive, legendary creature in the United States and Canada since 1971.

Whitton is a Georgia police officer who is on administrative leave after being shot in the wrist during a pursuit. Dyer is a former prison guard.

DNA tests on the body have begun, said the statement, and "extensive scientific studies" will be done on the body by scientists, including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist and a paleontologist.

Nelson, the university professor, acknowledged that new species of animals have been discovered in recent decades and that, in science, "we always acknowledge the possibility of something new."

But he said that even in north Georgia, home to the Blue Ridge Mountains and the foot of the Appalachian Trail, it stretches the imagination to think a family of 7-foot-tall creatures could have eluded hunters, hikers and creeping development until now.

"To the average person, these places just seem like extreme wilderness where you'll find lions and tigers and bears," he said. "The reality is that you're never more than a mile from a road."

The group says the animal is male, has reddish hair and "blackish-gray" eyes and human-like feet, hands and teeth.
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

ericire12

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7926
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2008, 09:26:47 PM »
Everything I needed to learn in life I learned from Country Music.

MEBER #1

  • Forum Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2008, 03:07:11 AM »
Nice, I live about ten miles from this college.
Chuck Norris dosen't sleep, he waits.

Sponsor

  • Guest
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #5 on: Today at 12:15:22 AM »

PegLeg45

  • NRA Life, SAF, Constitutionalist
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13260
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1348
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2008, 11:10:44 AM »
MORE, redneck humor....cause we all like BBQ........ ;D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ubTQfr_tyY
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

twyacht

  • "Cogito, ergo armatum sum."
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10419
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2008, 09:24:59 PM »
As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition.  ;)

Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.

Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.

It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;)

Thomas Jefferson: The strongest reason for the people to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against the tyranny of government. That is why our masters in Washington are so anxious to disarm us. They are not afraid of criminals. They are afraid of a populace which cannot be subdued by tyrants."
Col. Jeff Cooper.

2HOW

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1861
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2008, 10:31:37 PM »
As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition.  ;)

Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.

Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.

It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;)  I may take you up on that someday friend, sounds like a good time..


AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY

tombogan03884

  • Guest
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2008, 12:55:18 AM »
As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition.  ;)

Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.

Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.

It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;)





Last time I was in a NC state of Mind it required me to dress up like a tree and stand in formation in a street ;D

Neon Knight Anubis

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 408
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 0
Re: Red Neck Humor
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2008, 01:42:12 AM »
North Carolina BBQ  *drool*  :P

Its been so long.

Great video BTW, and very true about Georgia! Everywhere you go is different!
Also, did anybody notice they put a silhouette of CA when they were talking about Florida?
We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk