Re-reading my post it sounds a little more assholish than I intended, but by now you probably understand that is my writing style.
Cut and quote is a PITA on this tablet, so I'll just go with numbered paragraphs.
1) Yes, every one I was around outside of school was older than me, often WWII veterans, plus my interest (some say addiction) to history give me an older, more pragmatic less emotion based outlook.
2) That's one I didn't intend to sound so shitty, but I firmly believe that one of histories greatest lessons is that decisions have to be made ruthlessly based on facts rather than wishful thinking, like medical triage. Otherwise you wind up with situations like Haiti, where the only industry for 200 years has been absorbing US charity. The truly kindest course would be to cut them loose, they either starve and die off, or they get their act together and become an actual viable country.
3) When I mentioned Poland I was thinking more of England and France who had treaties with them but when the crunch came couldn't back up their promises. In 1939 America's biggest consideration was that it wasn't our fight, we had no treaty obligations to any of them and were doing business with all. In cold fact, we really had nothing at stake in either European war beyond friendship with England.
4) The Russian's were obligated under he arms limitation treaties to destroy X number of nukes. They were happier about destroying ones they no longer had bases for rather than ones protecting the "Rodina".
5) The only thing we can do for either is keep selling them ammo.They both have their own arms industries , just as advanced as ours. The iplomatic actions are like TSA, meaningless posturing.
6) Umm, no thanks. Just for starters my knees are so white they glow in the dark. Scary mental image ! LOL
7) Actually, that's why we RALLY fought the Spanish war, to acquiring coaling station in accordance with Mahan's theories of sea power. We had 3 good ones, Porto Rico, Gitmo, and the Canal zone. nuke powered carriers, subs and airlift have reduced that need somewhat. (influence of Sea Power is actually pretty readable and interesting, and free on Project Gutenberg)

Fear has worked fine, it kept Romans eating free Egyptian bread for centuries. In our time it has kept any one from doing anything about BLM because they are afraid of being called "racist". It has kept the anti gun lobby alive because every one on our side seems to fear being called "unreasonable".
9) Not wanting to piss off people who already hate you and want you gone, preferably dead, is what lead Germany's Jews to quietly board the cattle cars. Solzhenitsyn had a quote to the effect that if Soviet people had showed any spine, and killed a few Chekists the purges would not have been possible.