There used to be a real A-hole living next-door to me. Once while I was plowing snow in my driveway a cop car pulled up. The cop walked over and told me someone called in and said I was flying up and down the road at a high rate of speed on my ATV. I told the cop all I was doing was plowing my driveway. Then I pointed to where all the tracks ended right in front of my driveway, where I backed into the street to plow the very end of the driveway. There were no tracks in the fresh snow going either direction up or down the street, or across the street either. Anyone could plainly see I hadn't gone anywhere at all, at any speed. That cop sat there watching me until I was all done plowing. I guess that was in case I did fly up and down the street at a high rate of speed when I was finished.
This guy was the only person on my street who didn't like me, and I knew he was the one who called. I plowed everyone's sidewalks on both sides of the street for free several times over the years, without being asked to, or thanked when I was done. When we had a really bad snow storm I plowed the street too, so we didn't have to wait a week for the city to get to it. But I had to quit because of him. He called the cops on me for things I didn't do several other times, but never got in any trouble for abusing 911 or filing false police reports. He sued me for ripping a fence out that he put up on my property. He couldn't prove I did anything or how much it would cost to put another fence up. I had a lawyer but he was too stupid to get one. I didn't get in any trouble, but the judge got mad at him when he lied and said I threw dog shit in his yard. You shouldn't say shit in court, but he wasn't smart enough not to. When I was measuring to see how far away his fence was from my house, he knocked my tape measure out of my hand and took it in his house. I didn't get it back until the cops came and told him to give it back. Of course he didn't get in trouble for any laws he broke doing that. When I measured from the side of my house I found out the fence he put up was entirely on my property. The police told me to talk to the zoning commission. The zoning commission told me to call the police. After going in circles like that with no one doing anything about it, I took matters into my own hands.
He climbed up on my privacy fence several times and a few times called me over to the fence where he took a swing at me. Apparently attempted assault isn't a crime, so he kept getting away with it. When I came home from a short vacation a car jack that was sitting next to my porch was gone. When I took another well deserved vacation, the vanity plate and metal license plate frame and its hardware had been ripped from the front bumper of my truck and taken. I couldn't prove they were in any of the loads of scrap metal he took to be recycled, but no one else would steal the license plate off my truck.
He kept piling things against my privacy fence which is several inches inside of the property line. I kept telling him I didn't want his junk on my property and if he didn't move it I would. So he jammed an extension ladder between my fence and his shed. He didn't say anything as he watched me move it, but he put it back, chained it down, and piled several concrete blocks on top of it. I was standing in his driveway looking at it, figuring out what to do with all that stuff when he came home. I told him I wanted his stuff taken off of my property, and he flew into a rage. He told me to get off his property, but when I tried to leave, he came up behind me and twisted my head around until my neck made a loud snapping sound and I fell to the ground. When I was able to I went home and called the police, who showed up 2 days later to talk to me about it. I was treated by the emergency room for strained muscles in my neck, and bruising where he grabbed my arm. He was charged with assault and got probation for a while, and had to go to anger management classes and drug counseling. When he finished his short probation period without getting arrested again, he had a perfectly clean record, and spent not one second in jail for what in my eyes was attempted murder.
His name is Richard but I started calling him Dick, because Dick is short for Richard, and because he's a complete and total dick. Then he started calling me Dick, too. I didn't know that Dick was also short for Frank. He's such a dick that he sat there and watched as 2 guys stole another neighbor's big screen TV and walked down the street with it. When she asked him why he didn't call the cops, he said he didn't want talk to them because he was smoking dope. As if the 911 operator could smell it on him over the phone. So if you think people like that lady across the street are bad to have for neighbors, remember, it could be much worse.
One more thing: When seconds count, the police are only a couple of days away.
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