Bah! Humbug!

[Big Frank]

It looked like it was going to be a good Christmas, until my neighbor's dog from 2 houses down came in my yard and bit me again. I made it though November unscathed, but had to make 2 trips in 3 months to the after hours clinic, to get my wounds treated and start a course of antibiotics which always give be explosive diarrhea. As the old saying goes, $#!t happens. A lot! Usually while sitting on the toilet, but not always.   The cops eventually came after I called 911 and I told them what happened, then they headed over to the neighbor's house. I think this dog is a pit bull mix. I don't know what it's mixed with, but it's meaner than a badger and bites like an alligator. Maybe it's part Hodag.

It's a good thing I bought a Bah Hum-F*ck T-Shirt when I bought a few other Christmas shirts this year. This was my contingency plan if things didn't go well. I was hoping to never need it. The new dog bite looks worse now that the bruising has shown up. It bit me on both arms and one leg in October, but the bite on my arm, just blow this bite, stung like a bad carpet burn and I couldn't even feel the other bites. I saw them when I changed clothes. I didn't wait for it to lunge at my face this time. I swung my fist by its head but missed. I was moving too fast, or anticipating its move. I continued the swing as it jumped at me and used my arm to shield my face. I'd rather have it bite my elbow than bite my nose off.

https://www.gruntstyle.com/products/bah-hum-f-ck-t-shirt-red-plum?srsltid=AfmBOor751lGHkRYesloEMumwA04VuPA90I89XQtsPNk7nG-Na13npbW

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hodag

[Rastus]

Man that's terrible.  I heard of a guy once, who had an idiot neighbor with a German Shepard that wanted to bite he or his kids in his own yard.  Problem was if he shot the dog he'd probably have to shoot the neighbor too and if he called the police...maybe have his house burned down while he was gone.  Same thing if he poisoned the dog because everyone knows what that looks like and the neighbor knew the dog was his neighbor's problem. 

When he had some leftover chili one day he put some in a stocking and left it out on trash day.  The dog ate it and after 2-3 days was never seen again.  It seems that stockings hang up in the dog's gut and cause a most excruciating death which is attributable to eating trash.  And maybe the guy just got rid of the dog...who knows?  Regardless, he never saw the dog again.   

[alfsauve]

So sorry Frank.  Hope it heals cleanly and that otherwise you have a really great Christmas and New Year.

[alfsauve]

To brighten your day.

[Big Frank]

  Thanks, guys. That helps, Alf. Here's what it looked like at 9:40 this morning. Like I said, it looks worse after the bruising started to show. It was hard to get a picture of the whole thing with my somewhat limited joint mobility, but I contorted around until I got a couple of half decent shots. You can see most of the damage. The first bite was just out of frame, over the top of the first picture.

My parts from Volquartsen were scheduled to be delivered today, but I just checked and my package is being prepared for delivery, not out for delivery. I thought today might be a good day, but 2 more days to get it, I guess. FedEx delivered the shotgun shells from Detroit Ammo Co to my back door yesterday. Later on another truck came and I watched the delivery guy out the peephole in the front door. Instead of bringing the package to the back door, he took my $60+ box of M&M's that have been bouncing around in the back or the truck for 2 or 3 days, and threw them from the sidewalk onto the front porch. The back porch is only 2 steps and you can reach over them to set things down on it, but the front porch has twice as many steps, and that's just too far for some people to walk. When I went out to get the box and the 1 letter that was supposed to be in my mailbox was when Satan's Little Helper* attacked me.

* The dog on The Simpson's was named Santa's Little Helper, but this demon dog was nothing like that one. The dog needs to be put down, and maybe the owner too, who doesn't seem to care how many times his dog attacks me. he was walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street and didn't try to warn me. And he didn't say he was sorry or anything afterward, just like last time. But the other time, he said he didn't know how his dog got out. He probably knew this time, but didn't care enough to stop it from happening again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa's_Little_Helper

[Sponsor]

[Big Frank]

My triceps is swollen and hanging down from the weight, and HOT. Time to scrub it down good (ouch and a half), and hope the antibiotics work. Fingers crossed. I really don't want to end up in the ER getting an infection drained over the holidays. I hate puncture wounds because they get germs deeper inside your body, and don't bleed enough to wash the wounds out. When I cut myself, if it's not bleeding bad I just let the blood flow, flushing everything out. I've been cut with some dirty, nasty things that didn't give me an infection, without taking antibiotics. I normally fight off bacteria well but not viruses, and don't often get either injected into holes. Bah! Humf*ck!

[Rastus]

Ba Hum.... indeed.  I hope you enjoy some chili over the holidays.

[Big Frank]

Mmm, chili. That sounds good. I keep forgetting to post a pic of the Christmas tree that was in my doctor's office when I saw her Tuesday. The ornaments are pill bottles, specimen cups, etc., and the blanket of snow around the bottom of the tree must be the "butcher paper" your ham sits on, on an exam table.   I thought I saw paper towel down there, but maybe not. The star on top has a paper circle in the center that reads WE LOVE OUR PATIENTS.

[red364]

Holy shit!!  I'd be prepared next time you got out... "He was coming right at me, I had to do it!"
If your neighbor won't contain him thats not on you.
Hope it heals ok!

[MikeBjerum]

I have been thinking about all the moving parts of living with close neighbors, out of control pets, public perception of action, and legal issues. 

Since you never know when to expect an attack, bear spray is not an option that is easily carried at all times, but mace/pepper spray is.  Get yourself some Sabre and carry it at all times. These companies also sell practice units. INVEST IN THEM! You know as well, or better than, anyone what a fast-moving dog is like. You need to practice to be ready to hit that moving target coming at you.

Shout commands and calls for help.
Defend yourself with whatever you have and need to do to stop the threat.
Call 911.
Call your self-defense insurance company.

In a nutshell - This is an attack on your person with the intent to inflict death or great bodily harm. Being an animal does not change the intent of the attack. Respond accordingly!