Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1370204 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2680 on: February 01, 2010, 02:57:03 PM »
 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

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Badgersmilk

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2681 on: February 01, 2010, 05:35:37 PM »
Haz Jr. gets caught...









































































Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2682 on: February 01, 2010, 06:25:16 PM »
Kitty porn.  :)
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

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philw

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2683 on: February 01, 2010, 08:36:50 PM »
Haz Jr. gets caught...





haha   sure it was not Haz   as he as been a little quite....   must of lost his Net privileges 
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. The only thing you can’t do is ignore them

ellis4538

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2684 on: February 02, 2010, 10:59:45 AM »
Have to look at his feet to see if it's Haz Sr. or not!

Richard
Used to be "The only thing to FEAR was FEAR ITSELF", nowadays "The only thing to FEAR is GETTING CAUGHT!"

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2685 on: Today at 06:36:44 AM »

Johnny Bravo

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2685 on: February 02, 2010, 11:48:12 AM »
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC , when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.  Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.  Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter saw the whole event.  The reporter says to the biker, “'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”

The biker replies, “Why, it was nothing, really.  The lion was behind bars.  I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed.  I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page.  So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, “I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”  The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed reported his actions on the front page and sees:

" U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH"

That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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tt11758

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2686 on: February 02, 2010, 03:47:51 PM »
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC , when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.  Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.  Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter saw the whole event.  The reporter says to the biker, “'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”

The biker replies, “Why, it was nothing, really.  The lion was behind bars.  I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed.  I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page.  So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, “I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”  The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed reported his actions on the front page and sees:

" U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH"

That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.


JB:

That would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so damn accurate!!
I love waking up every morning knowing that Donald Trump is President!!

Johnny Bravo

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2687 on: February 02, 2010, 05:22:39 PM »

JB:

That would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so damn accurate!!

It was hard to know where to post it.
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

"An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject."

red364

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2688 on: February 02, 2010, 09:13:19 PM »
Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi
 
As you may have seen on the news, it's been very cold in Iowa, so cold in fact that Iowans have borrowed a Norwegian Icebreaker   from Minnesota to unclog the Mississippi starting over near Davenport and working its way north.  Here is the first picture of it as it begins the hard work required to break up the ice.

The first Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi :







m25operator

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #2689 on: February 02, 2010, 09:19:38 PM »
M'lette should like that ;D ;D
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