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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1432963 times)

Solus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4550 on: March 20, 2013, 07:21:45 PM »
ROFL!  :D :D :D


Obama's limo reportedly sidelined in Israel by fuel mixup


It is able to withstand a direct hit from an RPG, and has a built-in air supply so it can drive through a chemical weapons attack, but “The Beast” apparently can’t hold its gas.

President Obama’s heavily armored limousine was sidelined in Israel today after the diesel-powered vehicle was inadvertently filled with gasoline, according to Israeli media reports.


http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2013/03/20/obama-limo-reportedly-sidelined-in-israel-by-fuel-mixup/?intcmp=features
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"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4551 on: March 23, 2013, 01:34:57 PM »
 ;)
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4552 on: April 02, 2013, 04:57:21 PM »
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4553 on: April 02, 2013, 08:33:57 PM »
Good one Peg

If your hose is short
and your pressure's weak
you better stand close
or you'll piss on your feet.
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philw

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4554 on: April 03, 2013, 07:57:37 AM »
Boomerangs.

Frisbees for ginger people.
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4555 on: Today at 04:52:14 PM »
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crusader rabbit

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4555 on: April 07, 2013, 04:23:35 PM »


A State Trooper was patrolling at night off the main highway.  At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.


 He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'?

The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'

The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.'

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And, her, what is she doing?'

The young man shrugs: 'Sir , I believe she's filing her fingernails.'

Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothing obscene is happening!

The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'

The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'

The trooper asks: 'And her, what's her age?'

The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes.'
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PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4556 on: April 08, 2013, 07:35:28 PM »
Saw this on FB..............So, in honor of the Birthday of our beloved Hazcat...........

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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

kmitch200

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4557 on: April 09, 2013, 10:41:28 PM »
For the dog lovers.

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PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4558 on: April 10, 2013, 11:09:15 AM »
Now this is funny.....
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

philw

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4559 on: April 11, 2013, 11:26:47 PM »
hahaha
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Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. The only thing you can’t do is ignore them
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