Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1363011 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5720 on: December 24, 2023, 08:24:04 PM »
 8)
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5721 on: December 25, 2023, 10:09:54 AM »
 8)
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5722 on: December 25, 2023, 11:51:40 PM »
8)

That should be signed, Sarge. I've got to send him this.  ;D
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5723 on: December 27, 2023, 04:51:32 AM »
The Government Explained In A Song
'The Government Can'
(Parody on the "The Candy Man Can"

From twpter with a Y, a free speech alternative to twitter/X. It may take awhile to load.

https://twpter.com//video-clips/cali/2023-1219-0854-4746-v-cali.mp4
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5724 on: December 27, 2023, 03:27:17 PM »
 8)
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5725 on: Today at 04:09:30 PM »

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5725 on: December 27, 2023, 09:58:49 PM »
You'll shoot your eye out kid!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Pn92e0cV8
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5726 on: January 04, 2024, 07:59:37 AM »
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant, and in the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer firefighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.
They must be saved.
I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department whom could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old-timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave firefighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat truck!
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5727 on: January 05, 2024, 12:24:03 PM »
;D LOL, Jaimie.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5728 on: January 19, 2024, 11:55:26 PM »
47 years ago I rode a chopper. It was a few years before I got my drivers license. The front wheel and tiny little handlebars were off a toddlers tricycle the neighbor kids outgrew. It had a 26" wheel in the back and maybe 12" in the front, with the fender attached to the bike's original forks. The CG was so far back, the front wheel came off the ground just hitting the curb cut at the end of the driveway. A stone on the road was almost enough to flip it over backward. I had to lean so far forward I almost kneed myself in the chest when I pedaled, but I was cool. I had the longest forks of anyone in the neighborhood by 3 feet.  8) ;D
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

billt

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5729 on: January 21, 2024, 04:32:45 AM »
Old man farting on people at Walmart.  ;D


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL7C-LaAJC0

 

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