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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1420126 times)

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5980 on: January 10, 2025, 10:09:52 AM »
Holy crap. A half-pint of 140 proof alcohol you can buy on Amazon? I bet there's some drunks with nice breath guzzling that stuff. Seriously. And it comes in 2 and 3 packs too.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5981 on: January 10, 2025, 10:47:36 AM »
Rather expensive way to go.   32oz of decent 90proof Bourbon can be had for under $30 around here. 
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5982 on: January 10, 2025, 10:51:35 AM »
But Amazon delivers to dry counties. I drank my Evan Williams ($12.99/fifth) and have been working on a bottle of Beam.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Rastus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5983 on: January 10, 2025, 04:39:09 PM »
Good luck trying to drink that Dr. Tischner's.  It burns like heck and it isn't just the alcohol.  Though alkies are known to drink it.

Dr. Tischner was a doctor during the war of northern oppression.  He brought up the antiseptic concept from somewhere which saved lives.  Moved to New Orleans and made a mint.
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5984 on: January 11, 2025, 03:56:45 AM »
Of course alkies are going to drink it. I saw on TV where some native guy was drinking "Cherokee Champagne". He used a rock and an old nail to poke a hole in a can of Lysol disinfectant and drank it. I just checked the can of Crisp Linen Scent I have and it's 116 proof. And .1%alkyl dimethyl benzyl ammonium saccharinate, to give it that biocidal zing that pairs so well with chicken and seafood. ;)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5985 on: Today at 08:04:28 PM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5985 on: January 11, 2025, 03:59:30 AM »
 ;D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5986 on: January 11, 2025, 02:51:31 PM »
The EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) motto is, "Initial Success or Total Failure". Not a joke, but that's funny. If you see them running, try to keep up.  ;D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5987 on: January 17, 2025, 12:16:01 AM »
 :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5988 on: January 17, 2025, 12:24:03 AM »
 :D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5989 on: January 17, 2025, 04:01:39 AM »
Let go, Brandon.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher
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