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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1423338 times)

Diamondback

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6070 on: May 15, 2025, 12:15:31 PM »
Damn... Norris aged slow for a while, then once it hit he got old FAST.
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MikeBjerum

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6071 on: May 15, 2025, 05:20:19 PM »
Quote from: Diamondback on May 15, 2025, 12:15:31 PM
Damn... Norris aged slow for a while, then once it hit he got old FAST.

If I am able to get anywhere close to 85 I would be pleased with that appearance.
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6072 on: May 15, 2025, 08:48:35 PM »
I hope you notice it was a glock that needed to be protected by Chuck Norris.    A Chuck Norris needs protection from 1911s.
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6073 on: May 18, 2025, 10:59:54 AM »
Have you ever noticed how much the Seal of the United States Space Force looks like Starfleet Command - United Federation of Planets? Seriously, this is no joke. In 2019, I think the U.S. government copied the 53 year old Star Trek logo for the newest branch of the military. But they changed it so they could say it's not the same thing. Other people have noticed the resemblance too.

I'm also wondering, are officer candidates in the Space Force known as Space Cadets? Inquiring minds want to know.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6074 on: May 22, 2025, 11:59:04 PM »
Knowing Is Half The Battle!

If you remember G.I. Joe cartoons from '80s, you probably remember the PSAs (public service announcements) they used to have. There were things like, "Never take medicine without adult supervision" featuring Doc. Each PSA ended with one of the troubled kids spouting "Now I know!" The featured Joe would then follow it up with the infamous catch-phrase, "And knowing is half the battle!" I used to watch cartoons a little bit after work when I was on first shift. I sure as heck wasn't going to watch soap operas!

Here's a Knowing Is Half The Battle sign, a VET Tv GI Joe Shirt I have, and a GOVX Exclusive Patch I got in the mail Thursday.  ;D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6075 on: Today at 03:25:03 PM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6075 on: May 25, 2025, 12:59:46 AM »
 :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6076 on: May 25, 2025, 01:02:56 AM »
I think I posted the last one before, but I wanted to make sure, since it sounds like something that could happen to me.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6077 on: May 25, 2025, 10:46:57 AM »
I was just listening to a song by Dick Hyman. Am I the only one who thins that sounds like a porn star name? Something he made up, like Buster Cherry?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Hyman
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6078 on: May 25, 2025, 01:47:28 PM »
In the south, if someone says, "I tell you what.", the locals know that's a complete sentence. End of story. But visitors from more northerly states will say, "What? Tell me."
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6079 on: May 25, 2025, 04:43:06 PM »
My best friend's wife has a nail-phobia. She gets physically ill if she sees fingernails or toenails that stick out past the end of the nail bed like they're supposed to. The longer they are, the worse she is about it. So I sent her a pic of one of my middle toes that has the nail short enough to make her happy. The nail kept breaking off and I pulled the stub was left out with a pair of pliers earlier this spring. NOW it's short enough! The nail sticks out about as far as the mouth on a smiley. :) She said it looked like an alien. I thought it looked like an empty eye socket, so I stuck a "glass eye" in the hole and sent the pic to my friend. I'm keeping an eye on him while they're away. ;)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher
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