Classic joke thread...

[Teresa Heilevang]

[Marshal Halloway]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.  Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the hell  is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' 

**Notice I didn't put Marshal'ette and Marshal in the "husband and wife slot?"**
(((((But I could have.))))   

[Dakotaranger]

You're a brave man, saying something like that with a wife that can shoot...well it was nice having you on this board.

[Pathfinder]

You're a brave man, saying something like that with a wife that can shoot...well it was nice having you on this board.

True, but notice Marshal never said which as which . . .

 

[tombogan03884]

True, but notice Marshal never said which as which . . .

 

Plausible deniability   

[Sponsor]

[Crescendo]

When our lawn mower wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first; the truck, the car, playing golf -- always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I'll always have a limp.



Moral to this story:


Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

[ellis4538]

Hey,  I get the last words in every argument at our house....."YES DEAR!"

[tombogan03884]

I always read this thread last, it counters the irritation that builds when I'm reading the Political threads

[Crescendo]

I always read this thread last, it counters the irritation that builds when I'm reading the Political threads

Amen to that! 

[Teresa Heilevang]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as
 her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
 hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
 around in agony.

  The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
 apologize, " Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and
I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

 "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man
replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still
clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he
finally allowed her to help.

 She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and
artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

 He replied, "It feels great .....but my thumb still hurts like hell.