Classic joke thread...

[tombogan03884]

I'm laughing my butt off  
I could not figure out what the flowers had to do with jokes.
Jokes on you though  

[Pathfinder]

I'm laughing my butt off  
I could not figure out what the flowers had to do with jokes.
Jokes on you though  

It was originally a political cartoon of a disguise wearing rhinoceros under a Wanted poster for RINOs announcing Open Season.

[tombogan03884]

Suuure it was. If that's your story, you stick to it. 

[tt11758]

The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Rifles Over Women    



#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one Rifle at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's Rifle and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary Rifle doesn't mind if you keep another Rifle for a backup.

#6. Your Rifle will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A Rifle doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Rifles function normally every day of the month.

#3. A Rifle doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A Rifle doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a Rifle is favored over a woman:

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A RIFLE
 

 

[Pathfinder]

The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Rifles Over Women    



#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one Rifle at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's Rifle and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary Rifle doesn't mind if you keep another Rifle for a backup.

#6. Your Rifle will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A Rifle doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Rifles function normally every day of the month.

#3. A Rifle doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A Rifle doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a Rifle is favored over a woman:

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A RIFLE
 

Ya missed one, although #7 comes close. You can have more than one rifle - lots more than 1!

[Sponsor]

[TAB]

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A woman went to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes Back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

[tt11758]

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A woman went to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes Back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

I double-dog-DARE you to lay that one on YOUR resident doctor, TAB. 

[MikeBjerum]

The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Rifles Over Women    



#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one Rifle at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's Rifle and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary Rifle doesn't mind if you keep another Rifle for a backup.

#6. Your Rifle will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A Rifle doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Rifles function normally every day of the month.

#3. A Rifle doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A Rifle doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a Rifle is favored over a woman:

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A RIFLE
 

 

And, he will provide the ammo and tips on what makes it shoot really sweet!  He'll also bring a few others along to enjoy at the same time 

[TAB]

I double-dog-DARE you to lay that one on YOUR resident doctor, TAB. 

who do you think told it to me?   

[tombogan03884]

who do you think told it to me?   

I think I like your wife much more than I do you