Following an accident, a woman was in a coma and completely unresponsive. One day, the nurse was giving her a sponge bath when she noticed the woman's eyelids flicker when the sponge touched between her legs. She quickly called the Doctor in and they were astonished to find the same thing happened again. Excitedly, they called the woman's husband and told them what was going on.
The Doctor explained that his wife seemed to be responding to stimulation and they thought perhaps if he was to give her oral sex she might pull out of the coma. The man was a little reluctant but they said they would be in the next room monitoring her condition and they would have complete privacy. He agreed to give it a try.
The Doctor and nurse were watching when suddenly the monitor flat lined. They rushed into the room and asked the husband what happened. "I think she choked" he replied.
A couple of truck drivers were delivering some produce down a country road one day when their truck broke down. upon surveying the problem, they decided what they needed was a monkey wrench to fix the problem. "Tell you what", one said, "you stay here with the truck and I'll walk back to that house we say a few miles back and see if they can help us out." So he hikes back to the house, and upon walking up the drive, he sees several very young black childern, playing on the swings, in the trees etc. So he knocks on the door, and a very large Abbo lady answers the door, with two very young Abbo babies in her arms. "Excuse me Miss" he said, "Do you have a monkey wrench?" "This aint no Bloody Monkey Ranch" she replied, "It's a MotherFuckin day care center."
My son asked me if i could tell him about anal sex. I said, "son, I can do one better than that..."
My wife says she will kick me out if she finds out I have any "skeletons in my closet" - but the joke's on her because the kids in my closet are still alive.
Condoms are getting bloody expensive these days. It's actually cheaper just to fork out for the odd abortion now and then.
I put a picture of my daughter on my desk at work to brighten it up. Within 24 hours I'd been told to remove it.
I protested to my manager, "John, who sits opposite me, has a picture of his daughter on his desk, same as me, so how come I'm being picked on?"
My manager replied, "because, in John's picture, his daughter hasn't got cum splattered all over her face."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other ones a watermelon.
Whats the difference between Madeliene McCann and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage
If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, do you think;
a) You need more time together
b) She's a prude
c) She should have sat somewhere else on the bus
MBTV
Forum Index
Help
Calendar
Contact Info
Register as a member
