Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1364538 times)

seeker_two

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3160 on: September 07, 2010, 10:14:24 PM »
Ummm.  Well, you know who.  ;)



...and we know what he's watching....

Why, yes....I'm the right-wing extremist Obama warned you about... ;D

I just wish Texas was as free and independent as everyone thinks it is...   :'(

tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3161 on: September 08, 2010, 02:29:35 AM »


That is obviously CATTLE country,
The meaning is obvious
                     " NO F*CKING SHEEP !"

philw

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3162 on: September 08, 2010, 05:57:03 AM »


That is obviously CATTLE country,
The meaning is obvious
                     " NO F*CKING SHEEP !"




guess that is Not New Zealand




Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. The only thing you can’t do is ignore them

Badgersmilk

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3163 on: September 08, 2010, 10:19:03 PM »
You ever see your cat having a nightmare and wonder.  "What could he possibly be dreaming about?"



red364

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3164 on: September 09, 2010, 12:14:54 PM »
My kitty would be purrin' dreaming about that.....    ;D ;D ;D

Sponsor

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3165 on: Today at 11:04:08 PM »

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3165 on: September 09, 2010, 12:17:04 PM »
My kitty would be purrin' dreaming about that.....    ;D ;D ;D




 :o  :o 

;D
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

fightingquaker13

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3166 on: September 09, 2010, 01:30:08 PM »



 :o  :o 

;D
There you go Peg. The clothes DO make the man. We've obviously missed a trick here.
FQ13 who should google "pink latex mouse ears". No, seriously, chicks dig them. ;D

Solus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3167 on: September 09, 2010, 02:14:42 PM »
My kitty would be purrin' dreaming about that.....    ;D ;D ;D

Red, we don't get enough of you here  :D :D :D

And I know I'm gonna regret saying that, but it is refreshing to have our perspective spun 180 degrees occasionally  :D :D
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

Hazcat

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3168 on: September 09, 2010, 02:15:25 PM »
Does God have a sense of humor or what?
An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &
saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on
top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw
to strike him.

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'

'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be
hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
All tipoes and misspelings are copi-righted.  Pleeze do not reuse without ritten persimmons  :D

red364

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3169 on: September 09, 2010, 02:15:57 PM »
FQ13 who should google "pink latex mouse HANDLES". No, seriously, chicks dig them. ;D

Had to fix it for ya    ;D

 

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