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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1364568 times)

fightingquaker13

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3170 on: September 09, 2010, 02:24:30 PM »
Quote from: red364 on September 09, 2010, 02:15:57 PM
Had to fix it for ya    ;D
Are you single?
FQ13
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Johnny Bravo

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3171 on: September 09, 2010, 02:30:21 PM »
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'

 

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

 

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead ones all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the alligator onto its back.

 

 

Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration...

 

 

 SHIT! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!
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Pathfinder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3172 on: September 09, 2010, 07:17:04 PM »
Quote from: fightingquaker13 on September 09, 2010, 02:24:30 PM
Are you single?
FQ13

No, but you are . . . .


And I doubt that Red was looking at the pink latex mouse ears either!  :o
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red364

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3173 on: September 13, 2010, 11:28:42 AM »
A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.
  She was awake, so he examined her.   
"You'll be fine," he said.

She asked,   
"How long will it be before I am able to have
a normal sex life again doctor?"


The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl..... 
"What's the matter Doctor?  I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that
after having their tonsils out."
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3174 on: September 13, 2010, 03:40:14 PM »
Good one Red.  :)
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3175 on: Today at 11:58:06 PM »
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Badgersmilk

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3175 on: September 13, 2010, 04:33:31 PM »
Quote from: red364 on September 13, 2010, 11:28:42 AM
A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.
  She was awake, so he examined her.   
"You'll be fine," he said.

She asked,   
"How long will it be before I am able to have
a normal sex life again doctor?"


The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl..... 
"What's the matter Doctor?  I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that
after having their tonsils out."

Have you got her phone number?
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PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3176 on: September 13, 2010, 05:39:35 PM »
Quote from: Badgersmilk on September 13, 2010, 04:33:31 PM
Have you got her phone number?

No, but I think her name was Linda something or another..........er, Lovelace, that's it....Linda Lovelace.   :o  :o


 ;)  ;D
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

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"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Timothy

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3177 on: September 13, 2010, 05:41:14 PM »
Quote from: PegLeg45 on September 13, 2010, 05:39:35 PM
No, but I think her name was Linda something or another..........er, Lovelace, that's it....Linda Lovelace.   :o  :o


 ;)  ;D

I have it good authority that Linda WAS NOT a blond......

Talented?  Yes!  Blond?  No!
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PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3178 on: September 13, 2010, 05:42:30 PM »
Quote from: Timothy on September 13, 2010, 05:41:14 PM
I have it good authority that Linda WAS NOT a blond......

Talented?  Yes!  Blond?  No!

I figured it wouldn't take long for one of ya to think of that....but what the heck, it sounded good.   :-*   ;D
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Timothy

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3179 on: September 13, 2010, 05:48:13 PM »
Quote from: PegLeg45 on September 13, 2010, 05:42:30 PM
I figured it wouldn't take long for one of ya to think of that....but what the heck, it sounded good.   :-*   ;D

Well Peg.....

Since statistics show that only 5% of the worlds population is actually, truly blond, the odds are that most of the women we've met that looked blond, probably weren't.

Carpet.....drapes......you know that.....digression into locker room stuff...

 ;D
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