Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1357600 times)

Pathfinder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #400 on: March 30, 2008, 02:26:17 PM »
Ah yes, fun and games with Photoshop.

I have no idea how my text got within your quotes. Too early this morning for me to get it right I guess. Oh well, just throw in the notes any old place. Come on, Haz, we know you have them. Check under your loafers . . . .   ;D ;D ;D
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Hazcat

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #401 on: March 30, 2008, 09:39:55 PM »
Ah yes, fun and games with Photoshop.

I have no idea how my text got within your quotes. Too early this morning for me to get it right I guess. Oh well, just throw in the notes any old place. Come on, Haz, we know you have them. Check under your loafers . . . .   ;D ;D ;D

  ;D
All tipoes and misspelings are copi-righted.  Pleeze do not reuse without ritten persimmons  :D

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #402 on: March 31, 2008, 04:06:44 PM »
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...

A r e  -  m y  -  t e s t  -  r e s u l t s  -  b a c k?





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Pathfinder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #403 on: March 31, 2008, 06:33:16 PM »
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...

A r e  -  m y  -  t e s t  -  r e s u l t s  -  b a c k?



Nice avatar. Did you post a joke? ? ? ?  :o
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do this to others and I require the same from them"

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CurrieS103

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #404 on: March 31, 2008, 08:40:39 PM »
But the question is...did the nurse find a 5 pound padlock....oops, wrong thread.
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #405 on: Today at 05:00:46 AM »

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #405 on: March 31, 2008, 10:22:27 PM »

But the question is...did the nurse find a 5 pound padlock....oops, wrong thread.

Oops... wrong gender...
  ;)

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MikeBjerum

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #406 on: March 31, 2008, 10:32:20 PM »

Oops... wrong gender...
  ;)



I don't think that's what Marshall said, or was he complaining about some other lock problem?
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #407 on: April 01, 2008, 01:25:04 AM »
What?
Marshal said? What...who....where... Huh?



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Outlaw

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #408 on: April 01, 2008, 10:59:24 AM »
A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into
the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her
jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her
screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and
hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering
from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker
brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says:
'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my
whole life.'
Why, it was nothing said the biker, really, the lion was behind bars.
I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.
I noticed a patch on your jacket said the journalist.
Yeah I ride with a Christian motorcycle club the biker replies.
Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you
know, and tomorrow papers will have this in first page. The
journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed
brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page: Biker gang
member assaults African immigrant and steals his lunch

 
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Hazcat

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #409 on: April 01, 2008, 11:46:52 AM »
Outlaw,

Just sent that one to my brother.  He is a minister and has a Christian biker club (Sons of God Motorcycle Club).
All tipoes and misspelings are copi-righted.  Pleeze do not reuse without ritten persimmons  :D

 

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