Classic joke thread...

[Badgersmilk]

Shooting fun with Abdule.

Adult content advisory:
http://www.break.com/index/recoilrifle.html

[jaybet]

Quick question....if that's a Taliban recoiless rifle why are the two guys filming it talking and laughing like they're from Ohio or something? Shouldn't they be blowing these guys asses to kingdom come?

[Ichiban]

Quick question....if that's a Taliban recoiless rifle why are the two guys filming it talking and laughing like they're from Ohio or something? Shouldn't they be blowing these guys asses to kingdom come?

More likely some "operators" training Afghan troops.

[Big Frank]

Recoilless rifle. NOT!!!

[tombogan03884]

Recoilless Rifle was a cover name given to a secret project, to keep the Germans and Japanese from finding out that we were working on rocket launchers.
Just like the early armored vehicles were called "Tank" as in "watertank" that one actually seems to have worked.

[Sponsor]

[tt11758]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.

WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.



MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

 

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.

 

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

 

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

 

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

 

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

 

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

 

WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

 

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

 

YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

 

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

 

THEN, THAT UGLY,

 

OLD,

 

BALD,

 

WRINKLED FACED,

 

FAT-ASSED,

 

GRAY-HAIRED,

 

DECREPIT

 

SON-OF-A-BITCH

 

ASKED,

 


'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???

[Majer]

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

[JC5123]

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

Ok, somebody is going to have to explain that one to me. 

[crusader rabbit]

Ok, somebody is going to have to explain that one to me. 

Now that right there is funny, if, like me, you are the son of a Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region preacher.  Dad did go on to get his PhD in Philosophy of Science, and taught at the college/university level for 40 years, but around the house we were NCB.  And this Crusader wouldn't have pushed the fellow off the bridge.  But, I wouldn't have given him a ride home, either.

[fightingquaker13]

Now that right there is funny, if, like me, you are the son of a Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region preacher.  Dad did go on to get his PhD in Philosophy of Science, and taught at the college/university level for 40 years, but around the house we were NCB.  And this Crusader wouldn't have pushed the fellow off the bridge.  But, I wouldn't have given him a ride home, either.

I think the larger point is that religious fanatics deserve each other (though I thought the joke was damn funny). Seriously, Christian, Muslim, Jew, whatever, the danger isn't in speaking with God. Its when youi start thinking he's speaking only to you that the trouble starts.
FQ13 who is an Episcopalian, because being an agnostic might offend someone.