Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1395451 times)

wtr100

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there MAY be a new best Girl Scout cookie
« Reply #3540 on: March 08, 2011, 01:30:09 PM »
I used to say the best (only) one was the Thin Mint

but

I just got hold of some 'shout outs' - they're kinda like a hard graham cracker with a hint of cinnamon

might need to consume a box or two of each - educational purposes of course 
Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, 60 rounds powder and ball and be ready to march at a minute's warning.

JC5123

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Re: there MAY be a new best Girl Scout cookie
« Reply #3541 on: March 08, 2011, 03:00:36 PM »
I am a member of my nation's chosen soldiery.
God grant that I may not be found wanting,
that I will not fail this sacred trust.

wtr100

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Re: there MAY be a new best Girl Scout cookie
« Reply #3542 on: March 08, 2011, 04:26:15 PM »
subtle as a boot to the groin!
Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, 60 rounds powder and ball and be ready to march at a minute's warning.

gunman42782

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort?
« Reply #3543 on: March 08, 2011, 06:31:33 PM »
Enough to kill Two and a Half Men! :D :D
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twyacht

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Re: How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort?
« Reply #3544 on: March 08, 2011, 07:56:46 PM »
By his own words, which are comparable to a machete waving lunatic,.(oh wait,...he's already done that),..or a domestically violent dude who shot his first fiance,(oh wait, he did that too)....

He was "banging 7 gram rocks, cause that's how I roll",.....seriously,...he really said that...

It makes the 70-80's look tame,.....

But NOW,....he's on the Tiger Blood and drug called Charlie Sheen,.....his Father Martin Sheen, should Apocalypse Now his dumb ass.

And I actually like some of his older movies.

Wall Street
Red Dawn
Young Guns

Never watched the stupid sitcom he was over paid for. He'll be in jail, in real rehab, or dead in 6 months or less.

Thomas Jefferson: The strongest reason for the people to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against the tyranny of government. That is why our masters in Washington are so anxious to disarm us. They are not afraid of criminals. They are afraid of a populace which cannot be subdued by tyrants."
Col. Jeff Cooper.

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3545 on: Today at 06:38:09 PM »

Timothy

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Re: How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort?
« Reply #3545 on: March 08, 2011, 08:07:17 PM »
Two and a Half Men was and is pretty good.  Lots of pretty women and generally written well.  The cast of this show doesn't deserve to be suffering over this bullshit, but they are.

The movies you list are twenty something years ago.  If he could actually make a decent film for the big screen ten years ago, he wouldn't be on TV!

He's lost it pure and simple.  It's a shame he's spawned five children that will know soon enough that their dad was a dumbass.

tt11758

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Poor Charlie Sheen Gets No Respect
« Reply #3546 on: March 10, 2011, 10:22:34 AM »
But then, does he really DESERVE any at this point?




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billt

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Re: Poor Charlie Sheen Gets No Respect
« Reply #3547 on: March 10, 2011, 11:06:09 AM »
We should run a lottery on what day he's going to be found dead.  Bill T.

TAB

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Re: Poor Charlie Sheen Gets No Respect
« Reply #3548 on: March 10, 2011, 11:30:20 AM »
say what you want about him... he has had a bunch of high quality tail in his life.
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

JC5123

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #3549 on: March 10, 2011, 12:09:15 PM »
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman..

                     

    And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

     

    The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'       

           

    The husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

                       

    I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten for three days.

                   

    So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

                 

    "Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they're too tight

                     

    I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.                 

     

    I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same..'                   

     

    The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

     

     

     

    'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
I am a member of my nation's chosen soldiery.
God grant that I may not be found wanting,
that I will not fail this sacred trust.

 

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