Classic joke thread...

[TAB]

that or start drinking...

[tt11758]

that or start drinking...

HEAVILY!!!!

[BAC]

The Blonde Phone Call
 
 
"Hi Mom, How are you?"
 
"Hi Sally, where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware"
 
"Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call"
 
"What happened?"
 
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."
 
"What on earth, why did you do that?"
 
"Well it wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black & Decker."

Stealing that one immediately

[tt11758]

FOX NEWS CHANNEL
TODAY REPORTED
THE LARGEST
POLICE BUST
IN FLORIDA HISTORY...




Considering who posted this......................What the hell did you EXPECT?!? 

[tt11758]

From the diary of a Pre-School Teacher.

My five-year old students are learning to read.
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
"Look at this!  It's a frickin' elephant!"

I took a deep breath, then asked..."What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant!  It says so on the picture!"

And so it does...



" A f r i c a n Elephant "

Hooked on phonics!  Ain't it wonderful?

[Sponsor]

[shooter32]

LOL, tt your at the top of your game this morning! 

[tt11758]

LOL, tt your at the top of your game this morning! 

Thank you......thankyouverymuch!!  (Elvis impersonation.......hey, I've got the waistline for it!!) 

[tt11758]

[tt11758]

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "hemorrhoids."

[tt11758]

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
       
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."




Ok, I'm done now.