Classic joke thread...

[tombogan03884]

Tom, if you weren't on someone's list before that post you are now!

Richard


PS:  I'll join you because "I COULDN'T AGREE MORE!"...EXCEPT THE GUY IN THE WH PRODUCES MORE "S..T"  JMHOFWIW

I've probably been on all the lists since I reported Hillery to the original Obama Whitehouse gov ratline. 

[tt11758]

I've probably been on all the lists since I reported Hillery to the original Obama Whitehouse gov ratline. 

LMAO

[crusader rabbit]

On January 9 a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.

The leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then he says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey!  That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts.  You could be famous if you rode with me.  Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl" The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!

[crusader rabbit]

So? Did you know what happened 162 years ago this fall... back in 1850?

California became a state.

The people had no electricity.  The state had no money.  Almost everyone spoke Spanish.  There were gunfights in the streets. 

So basically nothing has changed except then the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.

That, my friends, is the history lesson for today!

[Timothy]

THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS!

25% of women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary!








It means 75% are running around untreated!

[Sponsor]

[sledgemeister]

Saw this and thought of .........oh never mind you know who you are....... 

[tombogan03884]

Sledge, most of your jokes are frustrating crap.
They are funny as hell, but if I tell them in public some liberal will call the damned cops on me. 

[Majer]

The governor of most Southern states has the option of bestowing the title of "Colonel" as a way of recognizing outstanding accomplishments by members of the community. It is in no way a rank nor does it permit any certain priviledge, just like giving the key to the city or other honorarium. Some men so honored choose to be known as "Col. Jackson" or so, in certain circles. One such man was called to testify in court.

As the old gentleman was sworn in, he was qualified by the prosecuting attorney, then attacked by the defense lawyer.

"Colonel Beauregard," the lawyer began, "You were in the U.S. Army, I presume?"

"No, Sir," replied the gentleman.

"Oh? Maybe the Air Foce?" the lawyer sneered.

"No, Sir. I was not in the Air Force."

"Ah!, then you were a Marine?" the lawyer continued, trying to badger the witness.

"No, Sir. I was not able to serve in our Armed Forces."

"Then, why are you called Colonel if you never held that rank?" The lawyer smirked.

"Well, Sir," the gentleman patiently explained, "It's an honorary title, like the title "Honorable" in your name. It doesn't mean a thing."

[philw]

Spelling is important, look! The difference between won and one:

Great Britain have just won gold.

Australia have just one gold.

[philw]

RIP Neil Armstrong. The man responsible for the United States' most unique achievement: planting the Stars and Stripes somewhere without having to kill anyone.