Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1364461 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4340 on: September 10, 2012, 06:31:34 PM »
 ;D
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

tt11758

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4341 on: September 10, 2012, 07:14:23 PM »
What's one of the best things about Catholics?

Whenever four Catholics are gathered together, you will always find a fifth.



Hey!!  I resemble that remark!!!  ;D
I love waking up every morning knowing that Donald Trump is President!!

Solus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4342 on: September 11, 2012, 09:14:39 AM »
What's one of the best things about Catholics?

Whenever four Catholics are gathered together, you will always find a fifth.



Catholics are enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle of Fermentation and the same for celebrating the skills with which distillers have been blessed.
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

crusader rabbit

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4343 on: September 11, 2012, 11:26:03 AM »
Catholics are enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle of Fermentation and the same for celebrating the skills with which distillers have been blessed.

And all God's children said, "Amen.'
“I’ve lived the literal meaning of the ‘land of the free’ and ‘home of the brave.’ It’s not corny for me. I feel it in my heart. I feel it in my chest. Even at a ball game, when someone talks during the anthem or doesn’t take off his hat, it pisses me off. I’m not one to be quiet about it, either.”  Chris Kyle

tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4344 on: September 11, 2012, 11:39:14 AM »
And all God's children slurred said, "Amen.' I love you man.

FIFY    ;D

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4345 on: Today at 07:29:00 PM »

tt11758

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4345 on: September 11, 2012, 01:14:36 PM »
Catholics are enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle of Fermentation and the same for celebrating the skills with which distillers have been blessed.

And judging by the number of us there are, I'd say we're enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle Of Sexual Congress, as well.  ;D
I love waking up every morning knowing that Donald Trump is President!!

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4346 on: September 11, 2012, 01:17:46 PM »
And judging by the number of us there are, I'd say we're enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle Of Sexual Congress, as well.  ;D

That closely follows the miracle of fermentation.  ;)
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Solus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4347 on: September 11, 2012, 01:20:23 PM »
God Loves Us!!
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

tombogan03884

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4348 on: September 11, 2012, 02:06:58 PM »
And judging by the number of us there are, I'd say we're enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle Of Sexual Congress, as well.  ;D

Large Families in New England stem from 3 sources.
First, the large number of French Catholics in the area, influenced by French military history, followed the Church doctrine of "if we can't out fight them we will out number them.
Secondly, the farms up here did not generate the wealth of Southern plantations, but they were just as labor intensive.
Slaves were expensive, kids were free, and easily replaced.
Third, You need to do something to pass the long cold winters and stamp collecting had not been invented yet.

lhprop1

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #4349 on: September 11, 2012, 04:08:55 PM »
And judging by the number of us there are, I'd say we're enthusiastic in celebrating the Miracle Of Sexual Congress, as well.  ;D

It's just a different variation of the miracle of fermentation.  Just with a different result.

In the end, both leave you with life in your belly.   
Bravery and stupidity are often synonymous.  So are cowardice and intelligence.

"We Americans have been a rebellious band of freedom loving vagabonds from the very beginning. Our freedom from the crown and tyranny would not exist had it not been for the gun. That's a tradition we like to hold on to.  The same can't be said for the rest of you 'Subjects of the Queen'."--said to a Canadian friend who just doesn't get it.

 

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