DARWIN AWARDS 2012
:
Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the
gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as
he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck."
Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.
Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found
Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside
his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson
38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and
plunged 24 floors to his death.? A police spokesman said Garry Hoy,
39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early
Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings
windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the
Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest"
members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the
dimmer members of this law firm are like.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a
murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in
prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix
his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk ,
IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of
a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in
his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died
in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators
said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been
firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when
the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his
death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the
accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional
Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the
balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and
struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly
after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a
frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck
headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck
had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis
noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly
into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting
the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two
men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the
river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole
in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the
pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to
repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as
intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off,
or we might be dead," stated Wallis
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this
is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this
accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how
many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure
as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued
that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
MBTV
Forum Index
Help
Calendar
Contact Info
Register as a member
