Classic joke thread...

[Solus]

Wasn't sure where to put these, but since they amused me I'm putting them here.

I have seen the jumbled letters one several times, one of which might have been here, but the first one was new to me.

I was able to read them both as I suspect most here will do.

To my "selected"strange-minded friends:

If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting! 

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
If you can read this, you have a strangemnid, too.Only 55 people out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it

[deepwater]

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it
[/b]

I know some of the guys on the forum will be glad to hear this.. (about the spelling)

deep

[tombogan03884]

When FQ and TAB read it it will make their day 

[fatbaldguy]

When FQ and TAB read it it will make their day 

Only IF they can read it!

[tombogan03884]

Only IF they can read it!

If they can read their own posts this shouldn't give them any trouble 

[Sponsor]

[lhprop1]

A coyote is boarding an airplane and he has a dead raccoon under his arm.  The flight attendant says, "You can't bring that on board."  To which, the coyote replied, "But it's my carrion."

[PegLeg45]

If they can read their own posts this shouldn't give them any trouble 

Classic.   

[tt11758]

This real asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Blue?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it."
 
***
 
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
 
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
 
***
 
I went to the bar last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
 
I said to her, "Nice legs."
 
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
 
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now."
 
***
 
I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling their tits.
 
"Really" she said, "Go on then, try."
 
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
 
"Come on, what day was I born?"
 
I said, "Yesterday."
 
***
 
"Jesus loves you."
 
A nice gesture in church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
 
***
 
I got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.
 
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.

[gunman42782]

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
 
 
 
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut,
 
you'd look all right."
 
 
 
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
 
 
 
***
 
 
 
I went to the bar last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
 
 
 
I said to her, "Nice legs."
 
 
 
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
 
 
 
I said, "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. "
 
 
 
***
 
 
 
I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a
 
woman was born just by feeling their tits.
 
 
 
"Really?" she said. "Go on then...try."
 
 
 
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
 
 
 
"Come on, what day was I born"?
 
 
 
I said, “Yesterday."
 
 
 
***
 
 
 
"Jesus loves you."
 
 
 
A nice gesture in church, but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
 
 
 
***
 
 
 
I got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.
 
 
 
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.

[fightingquaker13]

The Woman Marine Pilot
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.
Janie, do you have a story to share?'
''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all
she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't
break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke,
and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."