Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1357172 times)

brosometal

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #630 on: June 17, 2008, 04:46:07 PM »
its only a down hill slide from here.
The person who has nothing for which his is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
- J.S. Mill

santahog

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #631 on: June 18, 2008, 09:37:56 PM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It has long been contended that there are male Jokes and there are female jokes, and there are unisex Jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke.


I offer it to you in the hopes
That women will love it And men will
Pass it along to a woman who will love it.!


A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven a tall,
Exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.


The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (As All men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......


On one condition'


Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly And meaningfully said....







'Clean my house.'
With friends like these, who needs hallucinations!..

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #632 on: June 20, 2008, 12:31:14 AM »
How right you are my friend.. LOL
"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #633 on: June 20, 2008, 12:51:36 AM »
OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel.
OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.
Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel.
Can't buy it?  Tough!   Eat your oil!
Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel ass!!!
"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

ellis4538

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #634 on: June 20, 2008, 05:28:08 AM »
Marshall'ette, not a joke but a very good idea. 

Richard
Used to be "The only thing to FEAR was FEAR ITSELF", nowadays "The only thing to FEAR is GETTING CAUGHT!"

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #635 on: Today at 04:36:43 AM »

CurrieS103

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #635 on: June 20, 2008, 11:27:54 AM »
+1 M'ette!
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone under independence. The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference. - George Washington

Grizzle_Bear

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #636 on: June 20, 2008, 12:48:06 PM »


Why don't Mexican Schools have Sex Education and Drivers Education classes in the same semester?



It's too hard on the donkey!


 ;D

Grizzle Bear


Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #637 on: June 21, 2008, 12:39:22 AM »
Grizzle Bear! :o



 ;D ;D
"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #638 on: June 22, 2008, 07:02:31 AM »
Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

ellis4538

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #639 on: June 22, 2008, 12:06:42 PM »
TAB...Go straight to the dog house, do not pass go and do not collect $200.

Richard

PS:  I thought I'd say it before Marshall'ette did!

PPS:  GOOD one by the way!!!!
Used to be "The only thing to FEAR was FEAR ITSELF", nowadays "The only thing to FEAR is GETTING CAUGHT!"

 

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