Classic joke thread...

[Rastus]

http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/prps-barracuda-straight-leg-jeans/4457245?cm_mmc=google-_-productads-_-Men%3ABottoms%3APant-_-5243246&rkg_id=h-d96191a336be80f4b4e91c7e6b8997af_t-1493174170&adpos=1o1&creative=57184551233&device=m&network=g&gclid=CPCemaCLwdMCFQx7fgodm9oMNA


I'll make them a hell of a deal, they can buy my jeans for a $200 at the end of the day.

That's more money...or credit....than sense. 

[TAB]

https://youtu.be/WIARMMtUdZQ

[Big Frank]

What difference at this point does it make?   

[Rastus]

Thanks for sharing that Tab. 

[Big Frank]

I'll leave it to you to figure out if this is real or fake news.

http://www.sundayregister.com/nude-sunbather-singapore-beach-injured-crab-mistakes-vagina-oyster/

[Sponsor]

[crusader rabbit]

I'll leave it to you to figure out if this is real or fake news.

http://www.sundayregister.com/nude-sunbather-singapore-beach-injured-crab-mistakes-vagina-oyster/

"Flyin' Doc says yer gonna die, mate."

Crusader Rabbit

[ellis4538]

Hillary phoned the president's office shortly  after midnight. “I need to talk to the president, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed Hillary.

After some cajoling, the president’s assistant agreed to wake him up.

“So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbled Trump.

“ A Supreme Court Judge just died, and I want to take his place.” begged Hillary.

“Well, it’s OK with me if it’s OK with the mortuary.” replied President Trump.


 

[TAB]

if you see a man open a car door for a women, you know one of them is new.

[TAB]

 Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain Pelosi's views.Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."As Pelosi's aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Congresswoman Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both In Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted."The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint

oldie, but a goodie

[Steve Cover]

The Coyote Principle

CALIFORNIA

• The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

• The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

• He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

• He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

• The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

• The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

• The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

• The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

• The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.

• PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.

TEXAS

• The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

• The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

• The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.