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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1405171 times)

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5950 on: December 04, 2024, 09:24:10 PM »
I just spent a bunch of money on a fancy belt that won't fit.

Huge waist. ;D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5951 on: December 05, 2024, 09:59:02 AM »
Quote from: Big Frank on December 04, 2024, 09:24:10 PM
I just spent a bunch of money on a fancy belt that won't fit.

Huge waist. ;D

GROAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

Majer

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5952 on: December 05, 2024, 12:37:53 PM »
Why doesn't Dolly Parton play the accordion?







Her arms aren't long enough  ;)
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"If violent crime is to be curbed, it is only the intended victim who can do it. The felon does not fear the police, and he fears neither judge nor jury. Therefore what he must be taught to fear is his victim." - Jeff Cooper
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Es gibt keine Notwendigkeit zu befürchten, Underdog hier ist.
Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back again to bondage. Where are we now??????

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5953 on: December 06, 2024, 08:14:55 AM »
What do you call a pig that practices karate?




A pork chop
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5954 on: December 06, 2024, 11:56:29 PM »
Quote from: Jim Kennedy-ar154me on December 05, 2024, 09:59:02 AM
GROAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you think that's bad;

Did you hear about the near-sighted guy who fell down a well?

He didn't see that well. ;D
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5955 on: Today at 10:52:05 PM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5955 on: December 07, 2024, 12:08:47 AM »
I keep forgetting to post MILSPIN's 2024 Christmas ornament. They already sold out but were $19.47, for The United States’ 47th president-elect.

This year's solid metal ornament requires no description. Donald Trump is your mother fu**ing President. Again. This ornament should be on every Christmas tree throughout America. Put it on your tree, put it on your Trump hating mother-in-law's tree, save a couple for your unborn grandkids for their trees.

Dimensions: 2" Diameter

Features: 3D Engraved, Dual Sided.

Front Side: Your President

Back Side: Evil Lizard Woman

Trump after the assassination attempt is on the front, Triumphant. I like the text on the back, where Hillary says, "What do you mean they missed?" If you don't think that's funny, vote Democrat again.  ;D

https://milspin.com/products/third-annual-2024-milspin-christmas-ornament
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Diamondback

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5956 on: December 08, 2024, 09:53:14 AM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5957 on: December 09, 2024, 06:50:13 AM »
Before and after.  :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5958 on: December 09, 2024, 04:28:43 PM »
Santa always parks for free.



It’s on the house
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TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5959 on: December 09, 2024, 05:04:54 PM »
Quote from: alfsauve on December 09, 2024, 04:28:43 PM
Santa always parks for free.



It’s on the house
why is Santa always jolly?


He knows where all the naughty girls live
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.
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