Classic joke thread...

[mudman]

Was that a redneck joke ?

[jaybet]

Pretty hard to get burned up without your neck getting red.

[ericire12]

What if Obama's email was hacked:





Here is a better view if you cant read it:

http://americandigest.org/Obama-Deletes-Inbox_redo.jpg

[someguy]

What if Obama's email was hacked:





Here is a better view if you cant read it:

http://americandigest.org/Obama-Deletes-Inbox_redo.jpg

That is HILARIOUS.

[MikeBjerum]

No Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto    However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband.  The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.


 


 
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.  She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
 
 
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.  The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
 
 
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.  Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
 

 
 
What were you thinking?  Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!
 
Now quit messin on the internet and get back to work!

I don't know about you sometimes! 

[Sponsor]

[brosometal]

What if Obama's email was hacked:





Here is a better view if you cant read it:

http://americandigest.org/Obama-Deletes-Inbox_redo.jpg

Another reason why Dick Cheney rules.  Dick Cheney for king!

[Teresa Heilevang]

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern
And sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

CHEESEBURGER:
     $1.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50

HAND JOB:
     $1,000.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally
 attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'Can I help you?'

'I was wondering,' whispers the old biker, 'are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?'

'Yes,' she purrs, 'I  am.'

The old biker replies, 'Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.

[ericire12]

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern
And sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

CHEESEBURGER:
     $1.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50

HAND JOB:
     $1,000.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally
 attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'Can I help you?'

'I was wondering,' whispers the old biker, 'are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?'

'Yes,' she purrs, 'I  am.'

The old biker replies, 'Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.

Comment of the day award!

[ellis4538]

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4Th grade students. "Human Beings
Are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the
girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he
jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back,
went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss" and before he could say "Shit," the
Rottweiler ate Him!

[Walter45Auto]

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question
and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plateglass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.' The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab................... I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.