Classic joke thread...

[PegLeg45]

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.

They failed and it closed.

Now are we trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?

 

[tombogan03884]

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.

They failed and it closed.

Now are we trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?

 

And health care

By the way, I heard that the NEW manager of the Mustang Ranch is Hiedi Fliess  No joke, I saw it in some business news a couple months ago.

[PegLeg45]

Redneck Church

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... when the pastor says, 'I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,' five guys and two women stand up.

4 You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because 'It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of'.

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the choir is known as the 'OK Chorale'.

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... people think 'rapture' is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized 'Wheeling ' washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm 'Tickled Pink'.

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... 'Thou shall not covet' applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the final words of the benediction are, 'Y'all come back now, Ya hear'.

[Big Frank]

Redneck Church

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... when the pastor says, 'I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,' five guys and two women stand up.

4 You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because 'It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of'.

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the choir is known as the 'OK Chorale'.

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... people think 'rapture' is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized 'Wheeling ' washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm 'Tickled Pink'.   

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... 'Thou shall not covet' applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the final words of the benediction are, 'Y'all come back now, Ya hear'.

[Teresa Heilevang]

A woman with 2 BIG BOOBS!

[Sponsor]

[jaybet]

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

      She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome
      cab driver won't stop staring at her.

      She asks him why he is staring.

      He replies:
      "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

      She answers,
      "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
      and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
      hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could
      say or ask that I would find offensive."

      "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

      She responds,
      "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have
      to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

      The cab driver is very excited and says,
      "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

      "OK"  the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

      The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would
      make a hooker blush.

      But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

      "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

      "Forgive me but I've sinned.  I lied and I must confess,
      I'm married and I'm Jewish."

      The nun says, "That's OK. 
      My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

[Teresa Heilevang]

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from IOWA.
He told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from ARKANSAS .
 He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from KANSAS.
He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean ed, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything. The second day he didn't see anything, either.
 But, by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he
could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Gotta LOVE those KANSAS Women!!!

[Big Frank]

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from IOWA.
He told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from ARKANSAS .
 He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from KANSAS.
He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean ed, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything. The second day he didn't see anything, either.
 But, by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he
could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Gotta LOVE those KANSAS Women!!!

Where can we send get well soon cards for Marshal? 

[Teresa Heilevang]

Why Women Stay Single..

Gosh this is funny.......




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe0rvkQ597w

[PegLeg45]

Was that Haz at about the 1:16 mark?