Classic joke thread...

[cookie62]

Now this is funny.......




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

[Teresa Heilevang]

Psychology:
 
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

 
 
She said, "You have the biggest penis of all your friends."

[m25operator]

FOR ALL THOSE DADDY'S OUT THERE

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the TV when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know..

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet? 
 

[TAB]

There is a joke here some where... but its only funny if you don't remember it happening to you.

[cookie62]

There is a joke here some where... but its only funny if you don't remember it happening to you.

The headache not the worst thing when you wake up......

[Sponsor]

[shooter32]

There is a joke here some where... but its only funny if you don't remember it happening to you.

LOL The girls all get prettier at closen' time

[tombogan03884]

 Went home at 2 with a ten, woke up at 10 with a 2.

You DO realize that alcohol was INVENTED so fat girls could get laid too ?

Ever wonder what they mean by "Coyote ugly". It's when you wake up, see what you slept with and would rather chew your arm off than wake it up.

Go ahead and say it M'ette, It's nothing my ex wife hasn't already called me. 

[PegLeg45]

Went home at 2 with a ten, woke up at 10 with a 2.

You DO realize that alcohol was INVENTED so fat girls could get laid too ?

Ever wonder what they mean by "Coyote ugly". It's when you wake up, see what you slept with and would rather chew your arm off than wake it up.

Go ahead and say it M'ette, It's nothing my ex wife hasn't already called me. 

Damn good song (Willie Nelson)..............based on a true story........

When I was in my early 20's, I had a real big appetite for alcohol......and I had very sharp teeth.
Almost had to use them a time or two.

 

[tt11758]

Damn good song (Willie Nelson)..............based on a true story........

When I was in my early 20's, I had a real big appetite for alcohol......and I had very sharp teeth.
Almost had to use them a time or two.

 

Been there, done that, got the teeth marks.

[Majer]

Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish people for the treatment of Jews by the Catholic Church over the years, Ariel Sharon , the Prime Minister of Israel , sent a proposal to the College of Cardinals for a friendly game of golf to be played between the two leaders or their representatives to demonstrate the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Catholics and the Jews.
The Pope then met with his College of Cardinals to discuss the proposal.
"Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show that you are old and unable to compete. I am afraid that this would tarnish our image in the world."
The Pope thought about this and since he had never held a golf club in his life asked "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?"
"None who plays golf very well," a Cardinal replied."But," he added, "There is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer, who is a devout Catholic. We can arrange to make him a Cardinal, and then ask him to play Mr. Sharon as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we will also win the match."
Everyone agreed that this was a great idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and he agreed to play as a representative of the Pope.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "This is Cardinal Nicklaus. I have some good news and some bad news, Holiness," said the golfer.
"Tell me the good news, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.
"Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I have played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."
"How can there be bad news?" the Pope asked.
Nicklaus sighed, "I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Tiger Woods.